I recently went to the optometrist and while there, I was having a witty back-and-forth with the tech. But as I was sitting there, I realized that I had been doing this for so long. Like so, so long. Like, more than a decade of my life (I first got glasses in the second grade!) has been spent in the optometrist's office, simply because I was cursed with terrible eyesight kind of long. It's true: I got my eyesight from my dad, and if anyone knows me personally, you know that's basically the worst thing ever. And having bad eyesight has set me up for some interesting, albeit annoying, conversations over the years.

"Do you need those to see or are you just trying too hard to be a hipster?"

Ah yes, my favorite question. Just because my glasses are big and 'on trend' doesn't mean that I don't need them. As a matter of fact, my eyes are freaking terrible and yes, I do need them to see. Without them, I usually mistake trash cans for people. So yes, I do need them but maybe next time you're crossing the street, they'll just 'slip off' my face and I'll mistake you for a trash can.

*(Don't commit vehicular manslaughter, folks, because it's illegal and wrong. We do not condone mistaking humans for trash cans.)

"How many fingers am I holding up?!"

That's not how that works. That's not how that works at all. I can vaguely see your fingers. I don't know who made that up as an indicator of bad eyesight, but they obviously never really experienced it.

"You look so much better without glasses!"

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know that my looks were more important than my ABILITY TO SEE ANYTHING.

"Do you ever wear contacts? I feel like you'd look better with contacts."

Yes, I do wear contacts. I have that lovely option every morning when I wake up. But sometimes, I'm lazy and don't want to put them in my eyes because maybe my eyes are feeling a little dry. Or MAYBE I just don't feel like it. Get your unsympathetic 20/20 vision away from me.

"Can I try on your glasses?!"

Look, whatever you want dude. Just let me live, okay? I'll never understand why people want to try them on because it always leads to..

"WOW! You really CAN'T see!"

Thank you for the reminder that I get every day when I wake up and don't have my glasses on.

"Have you ever thought about getting LASIK done?"

I'm pretty sure every person with bad eyesight has thought about it at least twice. Unfortunately, there are specific criteria that you have to meet in order to be eligible. Your girl will probably never meet them and I also do not have $4,000 to drop on new eyes right now.

"You look really smart with your glasses!"

While some people say that bad eyesight is directly correlated with a higher IQ, this isn't always the case. Just because I wear glasses doesn't mean I'm magically good at math and am going to medical school. Thanks for the confidence boost, though.

"You probably strain your eyes too much by looking at a computer and that's why your eyes are so bad!"

Yes, it's true that constantly looking at a computer screen is probably not good for my eyes and is definitely not helping my case. However, I can assure you that my eyes are terrible simply because I have astigmatism that I was born with. Genetics will get you every time.

"I love a girl in glasses. They look so much better."

Listen, bud, I really don't CARE what you prefer because it's my body and I'm going to do what I want to it. If I want to wear contacts, I'm going to. And if I'm going to wear my glasses, I don't need you to tell me I look 'cute' or 'sexy' because I am either way.