Hi I'm Katie, and I'm a Diet Coke-aholic. It's been 28 days, 22 hours, 2 minutes, and a handful of seconds since my last Diet Coke and I think I'm going to die. I'm not kidding — I've had dreams about the stuff, it's bad guys. I figured with the new year I would try and be healthier. I said I would give up Diet Coke for a year, a whole year. So when I found myself sitting in my room missing the feeling of drinking a nice cold Diet Coke I couldn't help but reminisce on all of the super annoying things people say about my "addiction."
1. It'll cause cancer
The original study that “firmly concluded" that Diet Coke “definitely causes cancer" was done by Italian researchers where they overfed almost 2,000 rats aspartame (the main sweetener in diet soda) at a rate and concentration that no human being would ever likely consume. So although a link was found between aspartame dosage and cancer in rats a similar study on humans confirmed no link between the two. Maybe they'll find something in the future, but right now I get to drink my can guilt free. Science.
2. You know, Diet Coke won't make you skinny
I haven't been to the gym since October. Trust me, honey, I'm not drinking the stuff for the health benefits. I'm drinking it for the delicious taste.
3. Have you ever thought about cutting back a little?
No.
4. Have you ever thought about swapping it out for seltzer water or something else?
No. Seriously? Are you kidding me? Please stop suggesting stupid things.
5. Put the bottle down!
Some people think that it's a problem. I think that it's a solution.
6. Diet Coke is actually worse for you than regular Coke.
Ok cool. Thanks, doc.
7. Do you know how much money you're probably spending?
No, and I don't want to find out. I have been successfully avoiding the answer to this since 2010.
8. All that soda will impact your mood.
You're damn right it will. If I'm stressed, or sad, or angry — you name it, a Diet Coke is guaranteed to make me smile. So thank you for pointing this out because yes, Diet Coke does affect my mood.
9. The sugar will rot your teeth
a) It's the carbonation, not the sugar that rots your teeth b) I brush my teeth and practice other oral hygiene regardless so I think I'm OK.
10. You have a problem.
Yeah, it's you. I am fully aware that I drink more Diet Coke than some people but I'm OK with that.
Despite all of the nonsense people insist on talking to me about I will always have a special place in my heart for Diet Coke. See you in 2017, my love.