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10 Things My Breakup Has Taught Me

You are where you are meant to be.

Maggie Morton

Oct 12, 2016

Loyola Marymount University

Maggie Morton

1. To Love Yourself

Sometimes, its easy to love someone else and its hard to love yourself. Its easy to push aside your well being for someone else's happiness. This isn't okay! Its so important to love yourself, first; to see yourself in the mirror in the mornings and smile. Your goal should never be for someone to love you, but for you to love yourself. Thats the ultimate goal and the most important relationship you'll ever have.

2. To Focus on Success

Breakups can seem like the end of the world. But its not! So after learning to love yourself, actively pursue what makes you happy. Focus on that job you want and go for it. Make a goal for better grades and study your pretty head off! Throw yourself into something positive that your future self will thank you for. Get on the track that pushes you into greatness.

3. To Be Selfish

Its okay to not want to go out. Its okay to say no. Put yourself first and be selfish. Your mental health is at the top of the list. If you need a night in with movies and popcorn, then treat yourself, love! Nothing is worse than going to a party and being stuck in a place you neither feel comfortable in or want to be.

4. True Friendships

This is a period of intense change. You're going to hurt like hell, feel lost, and out of focus. In times of hardship, is when you realize who truly has your best interest at heart. Those people that continuously check in and do their best to push your spirits up are your true friends. These beautiful individuals are there for the long run and want to see you happy and thriving. Hold onto them and hold on to that healthy love!

5. What You Really Want in a Relationship

Its never easy to realize what we want out of someone. Sometimes, it takes breaking up to really see the negative parts of your relationship. Its through careful thought, you'll be able to piece the negatives together and see what went wrong. This is not on you, and not your fault at all. This just helps you to learn what you want out of a relationship. And those negatives are definitely not it!

6. People can Love you, But in the wrong way

I am a firm believer that someone can love you, but love you in the wrong way. People can be selfish and take what they need from someone and not return it in full. People can be harsh and over protective, and insecure. These people do not love themselves. Unfortunately, their insecurities come out in a way that makes the loving part stressful and exhausting. They may love you, they just don't know how to love you in a healthy way, yet. They aren't necessarily bad people, but its not your responsibility to be on the receiving end of their negativity.

7. This is A Period of Transformation

You're free! Use this freedom to get out of your comfort zone. Get a new outfit you were too uncomfortable to wear and own it! Be aggressive and go after that job you want. Get involved and join a club or an organization. Be that social butterfly you knew you could be and meet new friends! See that band you love in concert. Take some friends to that new restaurant you've been dying to go to. This is your time to shine. SO SHINE.

8. The Pain comes in Waves (Its okay to Feel)

Some days you're going to wake up and feel okay. Other days it going to be hard to get out of bed. This is normal. Crying is normal. Its healthy to feel and let your emotions out. This is how you grieve, process and have the ability to move on. Holding your emotions in only hurts you in the long run. So put on that rom-com and cry. Drink some tea and honey with lemon in your pjs and vent to your best friend. Feeling is healthy. Feeling is good.

9. But it Gets Better

The first few days are always the worst. It will plague your mind. But what once was intolerable becomes a numbness until one day you wake up and you're good. You feel good. Just know that day will come; and know that you're not alone. So many people have experienced this and are experiencing this. It gets better.

10. That Person Who Loves You the Right Way is out There

Just because one relationship didn't work out doesn't mean another won't. Things happen for a reason. After loving yourself, shining, and striving for success you'll encounter an individual who treats you the way you deserve and gives you what you want out of a relationship. This is a ride I'm still on. I haven't found the "one' yet but thats no longer important. Its much more important to discover the best version of yourself and focus on only that, and then the right person will follow.

You are so loved by so many. Everything happens for a reason, beautiful. Breathe. You are currently where you are meant to be.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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