My experiences from my first two years of college that can help every incoming freshman prepare for the years ahead of them. A realistic take on the struggles of starting college and how they shape you into a new person.
1. College is Not All That Different From High School
When people tell you that college will be very different or better than High School, like finding a whole new set of friends, they are not always true. I am coming up on my junior year of college and I can say that my personality has not changed significantly, I have just become more independent and experienced. I did not have some kind of awakening as some people have implied. When I first came to college I was set on being more sociable and fun to be around so that I could make plenty of friends right off the bat, but too be honest you shouldn’t try to be someone you’re not. Maybe its because I go to a small, private school but in college there will still many people that act like high-schoolers, you just learn to weed those out of the bunch. Also, try not to burn too many bridges when you're at a small school because it will be awkward when you see that person on your way to class.
2. You Might Never Talk to Your High School Friends Again
In High School, I lost and gained many friends and by the end of it, my long-time friends and I simply grew apart. We were all going to different colleges and honestly, we mutually didn’t care if we stayed in contact. On the positive side I began college with zero baggage, but on the negative side, I have no one at home to go back to. If you lose your friends from High School, don’t worry you will make plenty of new friends in college who will cross states to see you.
3. The Media Sets Your Expectations Too High
Countless movies and shows have glorified college as one big party where everyone hooks up with random people, but that's definitely not true. There are people who party a little too much, but not all of them do. There are many other things that go on in college besides crowded, trashy parties. I admit that I had a false perception of college and I was a little skeptical about entering this hyped up scene. I thought that when I went to college I would be preyed upon by college guys, but the truth is if partying is not your thing you don’t have to do it. The great thing about college is that nearly everyone is okay with the people who party and the people who don’t.
4. You Can End Up With the Wrong Roommates
My Freshman year of college I chose to do a random roommate selection because I didn’t find a roommate during orientation or online. I was put into a tiny, forced triple and the two other girls had chosen to room together, so I was the outsider. I tried to make it work but they made my college transition miserable. After a lot of tearful phone calls with my parents, I tried to see the counselor for a while, but I realized I needed to make a change. So, I switched dorms halfway through the first semester and my life got ten times better. When deciding which route to take when choosing a dorm, it really depends on how thorough the school does the random roommate selection. Mine had almost zero questions so that’s why I ended up in this situation, but if you can be matched with someone who has similar interests you’re probably way more likely to have a good roommate. One tip for the schools that don’t have a good system is to talk to people at orientation and the other school events as much as possible so that you can at least find someone that you have already met before, I do not suggest meeting people solely online.
5. Homesickness is Real
For my first time being away from home, I did not think I was going to miss my parents so much. When finding friends became a long and grueling process, I really missed my family’s support. Thankfully, my aunt lived nearby and I could at least see her some weekends. This was a big help for me because I could escape college for a little while and be with a familiar face. The way that I missed home ruined my college experience and I almost debated switching schools. My parents told me to be strong and stick it out, so I took control of my life and changed it to be the way I wanted it to be, no matter the outcome. You do get over the homesickness eventually and having a few trusted people by your side really helps.
6. You Will Change A lot
I can’t tell you how many friend groups I’ve gone through from my freshman year to now. Some of the people I was really good friends with transferred to other schools or we simply grew apart. As you go through your college experience you will change and probably not really realize it. This change is usually not bad, but a result of becoming more independent quickly and finding out who you are in a world where you can now be whoever you want. As the years go on your number of friends might dwindle to reveal only the true friends that will be willing to stick by your side even after college.
7. You Can Find That Best Friend You've Always Wanted
Freshman year I was friends with a few girls from my orientation group and visited their all-girls dorm every now and then. One day I met another girl that lived there and by happenstance we had a lot in common and started hanging out on a regular basis. I never had a true best friend in High School and I can now say I have found one in college. Finding at least one person who cares about you, accepts you for who you are, and is willing to go everywhere with you makes your college experience significantly better. She is the one friend I know I can count on and I would rather have it that way, than have a whole bunch of fake friends.
8. Don't Settle for Fake Friends
This is one of the most important lessons of all, and a mistake almost every college freshman makes. It's hard to be alone when you're thrown into a new life so people reach for the closest friends or even acquaintances they can find. Sometimes this turns out fine, but other times you find yourself slipping into a dark place and you don’t know why. You suddenly don’t recognize this person that you’ve become, until you realize that finding different friends is the answer.
9. Don't Be Afraid To Do Things Alone
When I first started college finding friends was a slow process because I was shy and overly-analytical. This left me alone for a good portion of the time. I learned that eating meals alone and believing that the other people in the cafeteria are staring at you and judging you is a stupid thing to worry about. Chances are nearly every college student has spent at least one meal by themselves because their friends cancelled, their schedule was tight, or they just needed some alone time. It's perfectly normal to see someone sitting alone. Feel free to approach them, but sometimes it's not necessary. I have learned to embrace doing things alone because sometimes you have to. It simulates real life because you won't have someone with you all of the time. Plus, if your friends don’t’ want to do something that you want to do, don’t let it keep you from having a good time with just you.
10. Prepare for Work-Induced Meltdowns
People warn you that college will be much harder and much more work than high school, but if you were a good student who found a major they were really confident in, like me, you wonder “how hard can it be?” Well, between developing all-new time managing skills in order to keep track of electives, classes in your major, homework, tutoring, clubs, and still having a social life, you can get swamped. Interior Design is notorious for being one of the hardest majors at my school for the amount of work that we’re given. The all-nighters, cramped-up drafting hands, and bloodshot eyes come as a surprise and trigger the meltdown that usually happens at least once each semester. Whether you're venting to your mom on the phone, your roommate, or are just drowning in a tornado of foam core and art supplies, this is something that becomes a part of your life. I have accepted the fact that I have to say no to many fun gatherings with my friends to get my work done, or be stressed out 24/7. However, it’s rewarding work and it is my passion. Your major is why you go to college, so if it's really what you want to do you’ll find a way to push through the meltdowns and keep going. Also, it gets easier as the years go on.
