Going to college, I never expected to be in a fraternity. The only things I'd ever heard about Greek life are the things you read in newspapers or see on the news, stories about destruction, hazing, or sexual assault. I assumed (incorrectly) that all fraternities on all college campuses were like that and I didn't want to be part of that.
Fast forward to my sophomore year of college, and here I am, president of my fraternity. So what changed along the way? I've learned a number of lessons that have taught me that Greek life is more beneficial than what it is made out to be. Here are 10 of the important lessons I've learned in the past 16 months:
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1. A fraternity is a business.
From the outside, everyone thinks that a Fraternity is a loud house that promotes reckless behavior and is basically a boys club run by drunken fools. That couldn't be further from the truth. Before anything else, before any party or tailgate or date function, comes paying bills. As surprising as it sounds, running a Fraternity is a lot like running a business. You have to handle finances, make decisions about the things you can do or afford and what things you have to pass on, and budget and balance money.
2. Your brothers are your family.
When you're away from home, your Brothers become the closest thing to family you have. You live with them, you go to chapter with them, you try to help them get up for class on time. I don't have biological brothers, so my Brothers literally became that: My Brothers. All the people in your Fraternity or involved in your Fraternity will be lifelong friends that are willing to do anything for you at all hours of the night. People say that joining a fraternity is "paying for friends," but they will never understand the bonds you form or how much more that it means than paying for friends.
3. People will judge and stereotype you.
One of the more unfortunate lessons I've learned is that when people find out you're involved in Greek life, they will automatically assume many negative things about you. They'll assume you're at college to party, not study, they'll assume you don't have goals or aspirations other than being a "frat star," and they'll assume you're not trustworthy or that you don't care for others' opinions or properties. For me, high school friends and faraway family asked "You're in a fraternity?" in the same voice you'd expect them to ask "You ate garbage?," which is always a very unfair assumption. Especially for me, given that my Fraternity (Pike) has a very strong national reputation that couldn't be the further from the truth at Stetson. When I tell people I'm a Pike, the look I usually get is insulting, given that being a part of this organization has done so much to help me grow and mature.
4. Hazing isn't as prevalent as it's made out to be.
This is mostly specific to Stetson, as I can't speak for other schools, but in the media, you hear about the unfortunate stories about what happens when a couple jackasses take it too far. For the most part, hazing never gets to that point at big schools. At Stetson, the school and Greek organizations have done a great job in making sure that there is no place for hazing here and that the safety of the Greek community is always put first.
5. There is no promotion of binge drinking culture.
Another preconceived notion that many people have about Fraternities is that you are forced to drink massive quantities of alcohol until you puke or pass out. This is not the case. I've never been forced to drink alcohol. There are many Greek members who don't drink, and their respective organizations respect that decision. Yes, there are situations when you're part of a Fraternity when many people drink or where alcohol is present and readily available. But guess what? Whether or not you are affiliated, it's college, and you will be exposed to situations involving alcohol and liquor anyway; being Greek doesn't change that one way or another.
6. It's easier to be more involved on campus.
While it seems like being in a fraternity is a huge time commitment from the outside and that Greek students don't have time for other opportunities, it's actually the complete opposite of that. Being in any Fraternity at Stetson gives you the opportunity to meet so many people who are involved in clubs, sports, and other things on campus groups. Being active in the Greek community gives you the opportunity to meet people in other organizations that invite you to other organizations and also can gain you a positive reputation when it comes to things like FOCUS leader positions or internships.
7. Alumni and Networking opportunities are incredible resources.
When many young people go through rush and join a Fraternity, career and professional assistance is probably not on the forefront of their minds. But all Fraternities at Stetson have incredible Alumni bases that can really help you get an internship in school or get your foot in the door of a career when you graduate. Being close with the Alumni gives you opportunities to give you many insights about important people in the community and also can help you achieve success out of college.
8. You meet a lot of people.
Whether it's philanthropy events or through community service or even date functions and socials, there are always new opportunities to meet new people and create new friendships. Outside of your dorm mates, the best way to meet new people and the way I've met the most people is through Greek events. There are many great opportunities to meet new people and make friends through Greek life.
9. You get to have tailgates and parties.
Yes, Fraternities do have tailgates and social gatherings. And yes, they are fun. While they aren't the biggest and most important things that happen in the Greek community, the social aspect of being in a Fraternity is a lot of fun. Pregame tailgates, socials, date functions, and parties are all a big part of Greek life and are great ways to make new friends and create new memories, which leads me to the last lesson I learned:
10. You will make unforgettable memories.
Yep, I'm gonna end on this cheesy note. College is supposed to be the best four years of our lives. Your parents always say, "Appreciate the moment while you're in it. You'll miss this when it's gone," and it's true. For many of us, this is the first time we are living without our parents breathing down our necks. We get to decide what we eat, where we want to go, what we want to wear, and what we are doing at night. You'll never again get to live in the same building as your closest friends. And that's what makes being Greek so great. My best memories in college so far are just the dumb, spontaneous things that I've done with my Brothers. When I graduate, I don't think I'll look back and remember my academic accomplishments or anything like that. The most meaningful things will be the Brotherhood events, the socials where everyone dressed like an idiot, and the nights where I would stay up with my Brothers until 7 a.m. playing pool or watching TV for no reason.
In the end, being Greek means a lot more than just wearing letters or getting plastered every weekend. It's about bettering yourself, meeting new people, and learning personal and fiscal responsibility. Too many people just want to write Greek life and Fraternities off as excuses to have fun and act like an ass. I made the mistake of making that assumption as well, but I'm so glad I decided to rush as a freshman. Going Greek has helped me mature more, become more of a man, and be more involved at college than I could've imagined. A Fraternity isn't friends that you pay for. It means being a Brother, being a friend, and being the best that you can be.
