Two weeks ago I turned twenty years old. I don't think it's really hit me that I've left my teen years and entered my twenties. Within the past twenty years of my life I've changed a million times. One year I absolutely hated the color pink, and the year after it's the only color I would wear. Recently I've realized how much I've matured and grown specifically in the last 5 years or so.
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In celebration of reaching my twenties, I decided I wanted to reflect on some of the important lessons I've learned.
1. Spend time taking care of you!
Something I've realized being in college is that if you don't take a day or evening to yourself it can drive you crazy and be your downfall. Life is stressful, and sometimes you just need to spend a few hours taking a bath, listening to music and coloring. There will be times where I'm on the go for days on end, but I always try to give myself time to relax. Some people may say I'm lazy (and I don't think I'm going to deny it) but sitting down and listening to music can really be the difference between having a mental breakdown or not. Many people I've met, specifically college students, don't realize they should take a day to themselves every once and a while.
2. Everybody has a different perspective
When I was younger I was always the person to jump into arguments with people about stupid things, like why cats are better than dogs (which is still true, they are). Being in many classes that cover the topics of argumentation and logic, I've come to the realization that everybody has their own experiences that explain why they believe something is true. I love learning about these experiences, every person I come across is so unique which makes meeting people so much more rewarding. I try to practice being non--judgmental and learn why people are the way there are, it's a lot more positive than shoving my own ideas down people's throats.
3. Friends will come and go
This I know too well. In high school I had a hard time realizing that sometimes you'll lose touch with somebody or something will happen to cause your friendship to fall apart. I would beat myself up about it every day, thinking that the reason that people decided not to be friends with me was all my fault, and there was something I could change to keep it from happening.
Entering college has been a very interesting experience with friends as well. There's many people whom I used to be close with my freshman year who I have lost contact with. It's not my fault, this stuff happens, it just does. We get too busy, don't have the same interests, etc. Usually when one person drops out of my life, another one enters. This term specifically I've made a bunch of new friends who I have really good times with. If I kept holding onto the people I've lost touch with, these new friendships never really would have time to blossom.
4. Popularity doesn't matter
This is one of the best things I learned while in high school. If you look at a stereotypical high school movie, you have your cliques. The nerds, the jocks, the theater kids... Oh, and the "populars." From my experience, there's always this stigma about high school students wanting to be popular. Although this idea is less apparent in college, it definitely still underlies a lot of interactions with "popular" people on campus.
I remember when I was in 6th grade I was invited to be part of the little popular squad for a few weeks. I was so happy. I walked around with them on the playground, and sat with them at lunch. One thing I came to realize was how mean they were to other people. They always judged people on their looks, their friends, etc, which was not something I've ever been a fan of. I dipped out of that group as fast as I could once they started dissing on some of my best friends. I'm not saying that all "popular" kids do this, but they believe that they have the power to. Who cares about popularity when you can just have really good friends who don't care if you wear sweatpants or don't do your hair. Popularity is a social construct that sucks, and we all know it.
5. Watch your spending!
When I got my first real paycheck I remember going out and nearly spending all of my money in a few days. It was so nice making my own money and getting to use it on things I wanted, whether that was video games, food or other things. Most high schoolers, don't have to worry about paying for the electricity, car payments, or buying groceries for yourselves. Even now I'm still very dependent on my family, but I'm realizing how expensive everything is. Yes, going out for dinner may only be ten dollars but those ten dollars could be going towards buying a car or buying some groceries. I've been struggling to save money, as I enjoy buying things online and going out to eat. Saving money is always important and will help you out in the long run. This lesson I'm still trying to learn.
6. Stay close with your family
Since I live a state away from my family, I have to put in the effort to talk to them. It's a much different environment seeing somebody in the kitchen everyday compared to living far away from them. I've realized the importance of always putting my family first and staying in contact with them. My mom, father and sister have always been there for me and I know they always will be, so I have to put in the effort to always be there for them. Shoutout to my awesome family.
7. Don't be petty (all the time)
Life is too short to be super petty 24/7. Shoving people away for little things just makes life not worth it. When you allow yourself to be more open, and not get ticked off over the small things will make you so much happier of a person. Of course being petty is good sometimes, it's part of being human. There may be moments when it's necessary, but I've come to terms with being a generally nice person and it has gotten me a lot of positive feedback!!
8. Don't force romantic relationships
I've also learned this lesson the hard way. In high school I always thought I had to be in a romantic relationship, it was kind of part of my image. I was never content with just being me. Yes, I am currently in a relationship, but I didn't actively search for it or force it to happen. I've come to realize to be in a healthy relationship you have to know who you are. You have to be able to be happy with yourself to take care of another person. Forcing romance never ends well. The fact that I didn't go chasing after a relationship is the reason I'm in such a happy relationship now.
9. Take risks
Sometimes you need to say "yes" to situations or things that you wouldn't normally agree to, due to being scared or uncomfortable with it. It may be scary to say yes to something you aren't used to or something you think you won't be good at. I've come to find that saying yes to things like that make life so much more rewarding. I've said yes to things like rock climbing, doing new things in classes and going out with friends. (Most) of these situations have allowed me to make really awesome memories and I'm thankful for going out of my comfort zone.
10. Be Yourself
It doesn't matter if you like something that people thing is weird, or you dress in all black. Humanity is built off of uniqueness in individuals. It's how we create new things and move ahead. For a long time I was ashamed to be as loud and touchy of a person as I am, and tried to hide it from people. Thankfully I've met people that accept me for who I am, and I don't have to hide anything. I'm so grateful for everybody in my life who have supported me and have allowed me to be myself.
These past 20 years have been crazy, but I feel like I've learned a lot and I'm thankful for all of my experiences, both the positive and negative. It's nice getting the time to reflect on my past twenty years, and I hope this article gives you more insight into my life and maybe yours.
