"It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along."
Once we fall in love with someone, and I mean truly fall in love with them - it's hard to not imagine what your future together might look like. Something that I have always firmly believed in is that you need to live with someone first before even thinking about marriage. My boyfriend and I waited until I graduated college to live together, and even then we had to wait an additional six months since I had taken a position to live and work in the smoky mountains (best experience ever). Now by this time we had been dating for just a little over two years, so we were very eager to have our own place together. We went through a decent amount of phases in those first two years from: living on the same college campus, to him living off-campus (only five minutes away), to him moving two hours away for a full-time job, to me moving four hours away for my six month position, to now finally living together. It was a roller coaster to say the least.
I was very excited for us to finally move in together, but I found that my perception of what it would be like was very glamorized. Essentially I went into it thinking it would be all fun all the time, or as all the tumblr posts refer to it, "a never ending sleepover with your best friend". In living together I've found that we truly enjoy each other's company, so it is fun most of the time, but there are other times where it's not all so "happy-go-lucky". I constantly see posts on Instagram and Facebook about how girls can't wait to move in with their significant other because they have all of these plans, and they imagine how fun it will be to cook together, do laundry together, and have so much fun being domestic together - and all I have to say to that is just no. We try to paint this picture that everything will be perfect and great all the time, but one of the toughest things we need to accept is that we are all human, and we are messy and emotional beings that are prone to making mistakes or simply, not being perfect all the time. So, I thought I'd share some lessons I've learned in moving in and living with my significant other!
1. You're not going to wake up every morning and have breakfast together. Honestly, you'll be lucky if you have more than five minutes of conversation in the morning between the both of you (or maybe just you) running around to get ready on time.
2. You will fight over the very stupid, little things that you once promised each other you never would. But in all seriousness, is it really that hard to put your pants in the laundry basket instead of on the floor....right next to it.......
3. You won't always have dinner together because odds are that your schedules won't always be in sync.
4. Movie night isn't some adorable night filled with popcorn and pillow forts and cuddling. You don't even really have time to watch movies anymore, unless it's a Friday night, but odds are you're already exhausted and want to go to bed by 9pm. Exception would be if you're binge-watching Stranger Things on Netflix, because you can both definitely stay up for that.
5. You will find things about each other that you don't like, or that you never thought would bother you and that's okay! Like I said, no one is perfect.
6. You're going to see them for who they really are, and they're going to see the sides of you that you don't want them to see. This is really important - because this needs to happen if your relationship is really going to work. You need to see each other mad, let them see you when you cry, watch them as they handle stressful situations, see each other at your weakest.
7. You can't run away or walk out when you're fighting. You live together now, the furthest you can go is the next room - unless you want to be really dramatic and get in your car and drive somewhere, but I strongly advise against that. You'll learn you can't run away from your problems (literally).
8. It's not always romantic all the time, but you'll find peace in being able to be comfortable around them.
9. They're going to see you without your makeup and hair all done up, and they're still going to love you. They'll show you that you have no reason to feel insecure with yourself.
10. Most importantly, through the ups and downs of living together, I've learned that yeah, we're going to make it, and life together is pretty great.
Keep all of these in mind when you imagine what it will be like living together, because odds are that it will be harder than you think - but definitely worth it. Plus like I said, if you really enjoy each other, it really is fun most of the time!
