My last boyfriend was in the ninth grade. That was four years ago, which is terrifying to me. To me, it is not scary to be single, but to know that so much time has passed and having the feeling of missing out on something special. The boyfriend I had in the ninth grade dumped me right before our seven month "anniversary" and I was devastated. (Keep in mind that I was only fifteen and he was my first real boyfriend.) From July 1st, 2012 I would start my four year journey of single-dom and here is what I learned.

1. Don't fall into the "he will come around" trap.

I learned this lesson the hard way. The best thing you will ever learn is that if he wants to be with you, he will make an effort. If he is blowing you off, being short, or avoiding you completely, go the opposite way. First of all, you are worth being chased after, so if a guy is not paying you any attention then he is not worth it. Secondly, "playing hard to get" is for kids. If you want someone, go after them. Don't sit around and wait for them to come to you. More than likely, they will find someone else.

2. Put your safety first on dates.

No, I am not about to give a lecture on who should pay or open car doors, but you have to be aware of how you feel. If a date makes you feel uncomfortable, unsafe, or you are just not having a good time, you are allowed to leave. In no way do you have to feel pity or shameful for not being into someone. First dates are awkward already, but nobody has the right to make you stay.

3. Set standards.

Having standards is similar (but not the same) to having a type. Standards are he baseline of what you are interested in. These things can help you from dating people you absolutely know that it won't work out with. For example, if you are passionately anti-smoking then it is not a good idea to date a smoker. Don't change your personality and the things you believe in for another person.

4. Be open-minded.

Standards are a great thing to have, but don't miss out on opportunities with new people. Don't say no to a date because they are interested in something you don't really like. You will be surprised by the amount of things you have in common. Take a chance, but don't settle your core value.

5. Don't base it all on looks...ever.

It is okay to want to find a person you are attracted to. That is normal, but it shouldn't be all you are looking for. Over time, a person's looks will change, fade, and become a lot more wrinkled. The second you start basing dating all on looks, we are sacrificing good memories and a lot of your happiness. Honestly, a person becomes a lot more attractive when they have a good personality. Trust me on that one.

6. Be ready for change.

The sad thing about dating is that is doesn't always work out. One day you could be falling for someone and then, all of a sudden, you are over it. Dating is about seeing how things go and deciding if this is the person you want to share your life with. It is okay for your ideals and preferences to change.

7. Embrace and accept singleness.

Singleness is so freeing. You are able to date, hang out, and do your normal routine without thinking about someone else. Use your singleness to do things you love. I spend my writing, painting, and trying to binge Netflix. You won't always be alone, so enjoying it while you have it.

8. Throw out all expectations.

Expectations while dating can be toxic. If you always expect the guy to pick you up and take you to expensive meals, then you are dreaming. Most of us are trying to get by and save all the money we can. When you force yourself to have these expectations, you are more likely not to have a good time. Be open to the new person and all they have to offer. If it still leaves you feeling uneasy, have a conversation with them and let them know what you would like in a date.

9. Listen to your friends, but be selective.

It was important to me to know that my friends liked who I was dating. At the same time, it is totally up to you when using the advice. If your friends are truly worried about you dating this person, then maybe you should take a step back and check out your situation. Good friends are there to help you see what you may not know. Trust that they love you and that they want to help you.

10. Tough out all the PDA

I know how tough it is to watch happy couples prance by you. Just remind yourself that being single is not the end of the world and one day that will be you grossing out all the single people. Wallow in your disgust for just a second, but move on.

The things I have learned over the past four years is still growing. Keep in mind that this phase of your life should be enjoyed. Go be safe, have fun, and date around, but keep the ten things in mind!