Do you ever sit in your room, late at night, laying on the floor watching the ceiling fan go round and round? It brings a lot of mental space up. It’s a time for questions, pondering life, wandering around in all the things your brain never has time for in the real world anymore.

I had one of those moments the other day actually. I’m a nursing student. I’m stressed with homework CONSTANTLY. Finals are coming up and I recently lost someone I love deeply. It’s making me think about a lot of things in my life, questioning some of the bad habits I have in my life. Maybe some of the things I regret about high school and how the transition to college has changed me. I’ve dealt with a lot. But I’m not ready to give up, I’m ready to change.

I’ll never…

1. Go to bed angry at someone.

Ephesians 4:26 “And don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you’re still angry,”

You never know when you might never talk to someone ever again.

2. Forget to kiss my mom goodbye when I leave the house.

I don’t understand why I made it so hard to let my mom love me. I forgot to love her back, especially in high school. I took it for granted, and now, I never plan on doing that again.

3. Get angry at my sister for borrowing my clothes without asking.

Why get angry at the small things that don’t matter? Sure, it’s a little rude but she’s my baby sister. Starting a fight that could potentially escalate into something extreme and ruin a relationship isn’t worth it to me.

4. Forget to tell my aunts and uncles how much I love them ever.

After you lose one, you realize that all of them are important to you. Especially in my case. My aunts and uncles have shaped me and helped raise me into who I am and I so often forget how incredibly blessed I am to have them.

5. Not hold the door for someone just because it’s inconvenient.

If I’m a Christian, I feel as though I should show my Christianity in the small ways. Being kind and showing love is just about everything Jesus stood for. I intend to try and do that as well. My selfish impulse can get behind me because my God made the ultimate sacrifice for me.

6. Say I hate someone I hardly know/know and don’t particularly like, ever again.

I think that this relates with before. If I’m a Christian, shouldn’t my words line up with what I believe?

7. Use my faith as a way to justify my feeling better than someone else.

I live to love others, not tear them down. No matter what.

8. Forget to tell the people I love that I need them.

They don’t understand that without them, I wouldn’t be where I am, who I am and I definitely wouldn’t have the determination to keep going.

9. Second guess myself when I feel like I’m supposed to do something.

I had a feeling to call my uncle two days before he died and I didn’t because I had a lot of homework. It really makes you think about putting stuff like that off.

10. Forget to thank God for everything He’s done for me, even when I don’t feel like I see Him working.

He’s a big God, and sometimes I don’t get what He’s doing. But I’m willing to have a thankful heart no matter what.