As someone who lives and breathes fashion, I can't help but be a little preoccupied with bodies. Tall, thin, beautiful, perfect—these are all words to describe most people who work in fashion. Working in the industry you're exposed to a lot of these individuals—models, bloggers, editors, designers, and celebrities—who, for the most part, fall on the thin side of the spectrum. But, what people don't talk about in the industry (at least didn't until recently) are eating disorders. Eating disorders were just part of being in the industry, sadly. And for young girls like me trying to break in, it can lead to some serious problems and skewed image of what a person should look like.
Sadly, a whopping 86% of college-aged women have some sort of eating disorder, whether it's taking diet pills occasionally or bouts of anorexia. An estimated 15% of males under the age of 25 years old also suffer from bulimia nervosa. What's more shocking is in a recent survey of 185 female students on a college campus, 58% felt pressure to be a certain weight and have dieted in attempt. I am one of those statistics.
Clearly, this is a problem that isn't going to go away unless we spread awareness and tell our stories. This is what I learned through my own recovery with an eating disorder. My hope is that it will inspire you to take the steps toward a healthier (and happier) you:
1. Being skinny is not worth the horrible side-effects you experience when you deprive your body of food.
Bruises all over your body (anemia), hair loss, constantly being cold, losing your period, and losing interest in things you used to love are all things that happen to you when you starve yourself. Yes, when you don’t eat, you lose weight. But in this process, you also lose sight of who you are.
2. You will gain weight. You have to.
You put your body through hell. You have to realize that your body has to do what it needs to do in the recovery process. If you deprive your body of food for a long amount of time, and then start eating regularly again, YOU ARE DEFINITELY GOING TO GAIN WEIGHT. And you know what? That is okay.
3.) You cannot constantly be focused on losing the weight you’ve gained in recovery.
So you’ve gained all the weight back that you lost during your eating disorder. You’re not fully recovered, so you still have that little voice in your head telling you to restrict again. “You’re too fat. You have to be skinny again.” YOU CANNOT LET THIS LITTLE VOICE TAKE OVER. YOU HAVE TO REALIZE THAT THE WEIGHT GAIN IS NECESSARY. Your body loves you. It wants to protect you. You have to trust that your body is doing what it needs to do. Don’t break down just because you have a little meat on your bones.
4. You can’t be in recovery and exercise the same way you did when you had your eating disorder.
Sometimes people never consider that exercise plays a large part in their eating disorder. When you burn 500+ calories a day at the gym while you are trying to recover, I don’t care how much you eat, that much exercise is not good for your body. You have to rest and let your body get used to food again. Especially if you have lost your period.
5.) Losing your period is very bad. You must take the proper precautions to get it back.
Your period is a sign that your body is functioning properly. When you stop getting your period, your body is not well enough to carry a child. If that isn’t a sign that something is very wrong, I don’t know what is.Yes, periods can be very annoying and painful, but you need to have a period to be a healthy person. DON’T YOU WANT TO BE HEALTHY AND HAVE A FAMILY ONE DAY? Just eat. Eat good food. And rest. Do as little exercise as possible. I promise you it will be worth it. The strides you take now in your recovery will make you all the more happy in the future.
6.) You must stop body checking, trying on/wearing the clothes you wore when you were sick, and taking “progress pictures.”
Checking yourself out in every mirror you see, wearing the smaller clothes that used to fit when you were sick, and taking pictures to check whether you’ve lost the recovery weight will do absolutely nothing for you except hold you back.
JUST LET GO. IT IS OKAY. JUST RECOVER. You will be fit and healthy one day by doing it the right way. But right now, you have to let your body get back to normal. I recommend wearing stretchy, comfy, and lose clothes. The tighter the clothes, the more self-conscious you will get.
7. Life is about way more than the food you eat.
Life is beautiful. There are so many things to be grateful for. You have the power to do anything you want to do and be anything you want to be. You cannot let your life revolve around your next meal. You cannot dwell on how many calories you must eat and then burn off. Or dwell on your next cheat meal. Just eat. Just be you. Be happy and be grateful that you are alive. It’s okay to eat a cookie. Or pizza. Or candy. Or whatever you like. FOOD IS NOT THE ENEMY. IT IS YOUR MINDSET.
8. You are worth so much more than a number on a scale.
Who cares if you’re 100 pounds. Or 130 pounds. Or 250 pounds. You are not defined by the number on your scale. Life does not revolve around how much force your body has on this earth. Life is about laughter, joy, experiences, family, friends, traveling, movies, music, and so much more. SO LADIES, DITCH THE SCALE. Who cares about the number? All that should matter is if YOU like who you are and if YOU like what you see in the mirror.
9.) Recovery takes time.
Answer this question. Did you develop an eating disorder and lose weight overnight?
No. That’s what I thought. So, that being said, recovery is a long process. It too does not happen overnight. It is long and it is hard, but MAN IS IT WORTH IT. Just focus on how good your life is, and how much better it will be in the future if you continue down the recovery path.
10. I do not regret having an eating disorder.
A lot of people wish that they never had an eating disorder. They regret that whole time in their life. Yes, I wish I would have handled it differently, but no, I do not wish that it never happened. You know why? If I had never had an ED, I would not be where I am today. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I learned so much about myself, especially during my recovery. I believe that my experience can help other girls. Maybe my experience can keep someone from going on the same dark path that I did. That possibility makes that whole time in my life worth it.
