“I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you’re always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when you’re not around, and the fact that you didn’t call. But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.”

I hate the way you don’t answer me

I hate the way you only text me when you feel like it. You constantly leave me on read. I text you all the time, and you only text me back half the time. I try my best to be understanding. I laugh it off and joke about it. I get that sometimes you’re sleeping and sometimes you’re working but it really gets under my skin when I see you posting on Facebook or on Snapchat and you basically just ignoring me.

I hate the way you make me feel

I hate how you make me question everything that I do. You make me question every text I send, whether I should say something or just stay quiet, or whether I’m good enough, or ever will be. You make me feel a way I’ve never felt before and I hate you for that.

I hate it when you push me away

I hate how you constantly try to push me out of your life. I know that we have a history together and all of it is super complicated, but that doesn’t mean that you have to push me out of your life. I know that we are going separate places in life, and I am super excited to see where life takes you. I know I am part of your past but that doesn’t mean I can’t be a part of your future too.

I hate how you always know how to calm me down

I hate the way you always know the right words to say to calm me down, or when no words are needed, you just hug me and be there for me until I’m better. I hate that you know how to make me laugh when I’m mad and that you know how to cheer me up when no one else can.

“I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry”

I hate when I’m mad at you at you make me laugh. Or just when you make me laugh in general. When you make me laugh, it just makes me appreciate you, it makes me love you even more. It makes me want to be in your life forever. I hate it even more when you make me cry, though, when you make me cry I question everything. I question our relationship, I question if you want me in your life, if you really do care about me, I question if I should keep fighting for you…

I hate the way you don’t let people in

I hate the way you never let anyone in. You act like you have your life totally together, when I know it’s the complete opposite. I know that you have problems and that you can’t do everything by yourself, why won’t you just let me or anyone help you?

I hate the way we like the same things

I hate how we have such a common taste in things. How we can sit for hours on end and talk about our common interests and never get bored. How we are both adventurous. How we are both not afraid of things, in fact we encourage each other to be crazy. I hate how we are basically the same person.

I hate it when you cancel plans

I hate when you make plans with me and then you cancel. We can have plans and then a few days before you just cancel. You can make time for other people in your life, and I see you do it. But you can’t make time for me, someone you supposedly care about.

I hate the way you break my heart

I hate the way you break my heart. All I want is to be here for you but you won’t let me. I want to be in your life and I want what’s best for you. I want you to open up to me but you won’t, I want you to tell me how your day has been but you are so closed off. I want to see you and I want to not feel the way I feel right now. I want to feel like you actually want me in your life…

“But most of all I hate the way I don’t hate you…”

I love you, so much. I wish I could hate you. It would be so much easier that way; to hate you and to not care. To not worry whether or not you wanted me in your life. It wouldn’t matter anymore that way. But truth be told I could never hate you. I will always love you. You will always have a special place in my life because you have left your mark on my heart. No matter how many times we fight we will always end up back in each other’s arms, because that’s where we belong: together.