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10 Things I Hate About Dogs

Dogs, who needs them?

Shawn Tan

Sep 07, 2016

Cal Poly State University San Luis Obispo

225

Shawn Tan

They've got nothing to give but love and support. But who wants that anyway? Here is a short list of reasons why Dogs are not as great as you think.

1. I hate their cute face.

Way to go, dog. Now I can't look at anything else because nothing is nearly as distracting as your adorable furry face.

2. I hate that they like to cuddle.

Nevermind the warmth and love that comes out of cuddling. Who doesn't like to feel cold on the outside and the inside? I'll keep my ice cold heart too, thank you very much.

3. I hate how comforting they are.

Their presence gives you the feeling of safety and comfort. Clearly even Vladimir Putin hates the comfort he receives from this canine.

4. I hate when they greet you at the door.

They jump and they wag their tail because they're happy to see you after a long day. So annoying.

5. I hate that they want to be with you all the time.

They trail after you no matter where you go, even when they can't always get there. Stop following me around, dog. You know I don't like being admired and loved.

6. I hate that they're patient with you.

Who likes patience any way? I know a lot of people who wouldn't be mad if I forced them to dress up in my little brother's old baby clothes.

7. I hate having a right hand man.

Dogs help you with your chores? No thanks. Dogs help you with cooking? No thanks. Who needs a little help every now and then? Definitely not me.

8. I hate when they're there for you when you're down.

It's so annoying when dogs are there to console you on your bad days. Leave me alone, dog. Let me lay in bed and wallow in self-pity.

9. I hate how protective they are.

They guard you, they do whatever they can to keep you safe from harm's way, even if that means risking their lives and their own safety. Darn!

10. I hate when they love you unconditionally.

Nevermind the movie "Hatchi." Nevermind dogs who cry and mourn for their owners at their grave for days at a time. Their whole life revolves around you -- they live their life doing everything they can to make you happy. It's the worst!!

All laughs and jokes aside, I truly am convinced that dogs are God's gift from Heaven. My dog has taught me about patience, loyalty, and love so much more than I would ever expect. He gives me a sense of belonging, warmth, and security. I love my dog not just because he's my best friend, but also because he is the best gift I have ever had. My dog thinks the world of me, he looks up to me like I'm the greatest person in the world; and honestly, I could only ever hope that one day, I can be half the person he thinks that I am.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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10 Things I Hate About Dogs

Dogs, who needs them?

1. I hate their cute face.

2. I hate that they like to cuddle.

3. I hate how comforting they are.

4. I hate when they greet you at the door.

5. I hate that they want to be with you all the time.

6. I hate that they're patient with you.

7. I hate having a right hand man.

8. I hate when they're there for you when you're down.

9. I hate how protective they are.

10. I hate when they love you unconditionally.

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1. People asking if you're mad at them.

2. Those people who hand out flyers don't always try to stop you.

3. Creepy guys telling you to smile.

4. "I thought you were a bitch when I first met you."

5. People telling you you'd be "so much prettier if you smiled."

6. Doing your makeup and looking great, which somehow intensifies the bitch face.

7. Regularly explaining "it's just my face."

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That moment that someone you never looked twice at suddenly makes you do a double take out of no where.

But you can't have a crush, that's outrageous. It's all in your head.

Because you don't have a crush, there's no reason to tell anyone about anything. Right?

But then they do something irresistible and you start to lose it.

Now accepting the fact you have a crush, you have to keep it under control.

Then there's the part where you tell your friends who will claim they called it.

They'll be excited and cheer you on. That's until they realize that your crush is all you'll be talking about.

Your obsession has become so bad, that your Facebook stalking is getting out of control.

But your friends will try and help move things along any way they can. That doesn't mean it will be any helpful though.

As time goes on, you start having fantasies about the two of you and it's starting to scare you a little.

You can't focus on anything because all your attention is on them and everything they do.

Anybody who comes near your crush is now an enemy, and you are willing to fight for your crush.

When you see them, you act like an idiot. Trying to hide your feelings may not be as discrete as you think.

Keeping your feelings inside will start to be harder and harder until you can't keep it inside anymore.

Who knows, maybe it will work out? Take a chance.

Everybody hurts sometimes.

May the odds be ever in your favor.

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1. You feel like an elder.

2. You may feel lonely.

3. Senioritis is more real than ever.

4. You may feel a little down sometimes.

5. Fear of missing out won't be as real.

6. You are a college pro.

7. You'll have more free time.

8. You're happy you're still in school.

9. You feel like a guru.

10. You continue to grow.

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