Ah, summer time. The beautiful and short summer time. Everything is so lovely and I'm free to do whatever you want. I, however, decide to stay inside and catch a neon tan from the television, and binge watch Netflix. Here is a list of all the things I could be doing this summer besides watching Netflix, that will probably not happen.
1. Cleaning my house.
Yeah, right.
2. Reading a book.
Because I spent 4 years getting my English degree and I've yet to read a single book since I graduated.
3. Studying for the GRE.
Because being a professional Netflix watcher isnt a real job. Apparently.
4. Getting a tan.
Because I'm pasty and lazy.
5. Volunteering with a charity.
Does that involve leaving my house?
6. Hanging out with my friends.
My friends would understand.
7. Ending world hunger.
Can't end world hunger if I can't even feed myself.
8. Picking up coins in parking lots.
A sista gotta eat.
9. Walking my obese pug to make him less obese.
But A/C?
10. Thinking of a cooler idea for an Odyssey article than this one.
Eh, happy summer everyone. If you need me, I'll be laughing over the newest season of the Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.
I'll see y'all in August.