1. It is okay to not have it figured out.
*Note to self* It is okay to not know what the next four years will consist of, and that is very difficult to grasp for many reasons. We like the security of a schedule and a direct path, but things almost never turn up the way we so preciously planned them to. It is okay to not know what or where you will be this time next year or week even, and it is okay to not have every little detail documented and ready for take off at any given second. We must live confidently that our future has already been conquered, our foot steps are guided and made firm, and that even though we do not understand what He is doing in us now, that we one day will. This sort of trust builds a great bond between us and our creator, and this intimate relationship of exchanging concern for joy causes a direct response of confidence in each and every walk of life outside of the dimensions of your campus.
"You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand." John 13:7
2. It is okay to not do well on a test.
Every student has been there, where late nights and countless hours are poured into a particular subject for a particular exam. That feeling of confidence going into class and sitting to prove your intelligence on the stapled pieces of paper. Leaving proud of the grade you are just destined to receive being that you worked so hard. The next class rolls around and papers are being handed out folded in half with numbers written in red ink, and your heart is racing waiting for your name to be called. You open the paper to find your defeat. You begin to question your major choice, your ability and your intelligence, and failure is all you can fathom. Here is a small piece of advice that your parents or professor may never tell you...It is okay to fail an exam. This does not mean never try to exceed the standard, but sometimes you do your best and its not that it is not enough...you just need a different approach or way of preparing for it. Failure can either be a resting place for the weak or a motivation for the over comer. There will be more assignments, quizzes, exams and more so don't let two numbers that weren't desired diminish your confidence in the subject. The runner may not have always won the race, but he did always finish. Take your disappointment to God and rest in perfect peace that sometimes we fall, but He is our hand back up.
"The righteous may fall seven times but still get up, but the wicked will stumble into trouble." Proverbs 24:16
3. It is okay to feel lonely.
In a crowd of people, I have sometimes found myself to feel lonely. It is not that I am necessarily, but I feel alone in how I feel or what I am enduring. The best thing to do during these moments are to discover yourself and who you are. You are alone so why not take advantage of that time to dig within yourself and become aware of your motives, feelings and concerns that were maybe over looked in the busy schedule. Find fulfillment in the folds of those moments that you do not feel the best, from He who allows your cup run to run over. Let Him dwell in your loneliness and show Himself to be your ever present help.
"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3
4. It is okay to lose friendships.
Friendships are often for a season, and we have to be truly thankful for the role those individuals played in our life for that time. On that same note, paths separate, schedules become complex, and life does not seem to accommodate their presence any longer. Instead of being bitter towards the change, embrace it. Wish them well, and be there when they need you, but realize life will continue. It is easy to become bound in bitterness and bash those who have left us, but take it as a proof of maturity that you can understand the difference in paths, but still cheer them on from afar. Those who are not leading you, you best be leaving them, and if the friendship is toxic it is best to have lost their presence anyways. Make friendship along the way, but notice the roles they play and understand that the role they fulfill may not be needed in ten years. Love all you come into contact with, and make the best of the moments you are blessed with those around you.
"One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." Proverbs 18:24
5. It is okay to not have a date.
Have you ever gone to a wedding of a family member, and a little old lady comes up and asks "so who is the lucky guy these days?" and you stand there wanting to say Patrick Dempsey but instead respond with the ever so awkward "nope its just me these days." Or gone to dinner with a friend of the opposite sex and they do not split the check. You sit thinking how to tell the waiter that you are separate, and they automatically think the guy your with is incredibly rude? Or my personal favorite when a friend gets engaged, and you start hearing the whole "you're next" or "so when will that be you?" Surprisingly, it is perfectly okay to not have a date to weddings, chose to be single or even decide that the dating scene just is not your scene for this moment in life. It is okay to be independent, focus on yourself and discover who you are individually before partnering with someone else for how ever long needed. This point in life is different for everyone, and is individualized for each of us and that is how it should be.
6. It is okay to say no.
With school full time, working, social time, study time, family time, obligations and so forth life becomes a little hectic! It is okay to say no or that it needs to wait. This does not mean you are weak, a drop out or a unreliable, but you are recognizing your limits and acknowledging them to prevent an over worked or over done mental or physical demeanor. Sometimes a step back will point you in the right step forward.
7. It is okay to not go to the bar.
Not every college student parties, participates in "thirsty Thursdays" or finds drunken nights the best nights. I personally tried the scene and it was very much so not for me. I chose participate in things that were productive, I remembered the next day and that I could find some sort of feeling of accomplishment or fulfillment that lasted longer than the neon lights. I was quickly burn out with trying to keep up with all the "biggest parties of the year" that I stepped back and realized it was all the same people, same drinks and same music just a different night. I found more happiness in doing active and encouraging things for myself rather than the other way around because everyone has a niche and no one is the same.
8. It is okay to take time for yourself.
This time alone I have found is very rejuvenating and energizing when done in the right way. For me, working out and lifting is my "me time" away from school, friends, family and stress. It allows me to recharge and more equipped to accomplish my to do's. School defiantly takes a lot of my time, and I often have to remove myself from the books to recuperate and rest. Sometimes choosing to stay in on a Friday night, and relaxing after the week is the best way to spend it. It is not being selfish or inconsiderate, but being aware of yourself, your mental stability and emotional being. It is easy to give and give of yourself and forget to receive in the mix. Self awareness is key.
9. It is okay to be reliant.
Sometimes, you just need to call home, ask for a friend to assist you or need to be needed, and that is perfectly okay. We struggle with many things but some may have already endured the road, and can guide your way. This does not make you weak or "needy", but human. We have an instilled desire to be needed by other people, and more often than not it is a by product of needing to be reliant. Having a support system, those you can turn to and a group of people to encourage and lift you up will make all the difference in the end. Rely on others to help you reach your goal, set boundaries and serve as an accountability partner in everything you do not matter what time. Support and encourage others as they support and encourage you.
10. It is okay to be proud.
Self adoration is a very healthy part of being secure to certain extents. Being proud of little triumphs in school, happy about new experiences or ecstatic about the good the future holds is a great way to stay confident in yourself. Be your own biggest fan and let your accomplishments speak for themselves remaining humble and kind in every way. Be proud of the road you now walk, and what great joy is ahead of you in any major choice, career decision or life long commitment for He will not begin a good work in you without the intention of completing that good work.
