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10 Things Buzzfeed Says I Am

My life according to Buzzfeed quizzes.

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10 Things Buzzfeed Says I Am
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Occasionally, I find myself wasting time taking online quizzes. They're always something along the lines of: "Which Disney princess are you?" I realized a lot of these quizzes come from the popular website Buzzfeed, which features an extensive amount of wildly titled quizzes. Here's a couple of things they've told me about my life:

1. I'm actually 5’3.

This one was surprising to me, because last time I went to my doctor he told me I was 5'5. But if Buzzfeed says I'm 5'3 then it must be true! To get this answer, I took a quiz called: "Cast A Movie About Your Life, Then We’ll Guess Your Height." I'd be curious to know what the correlation supposedly was.

2. If I were a mythological creature, I'd be a dragon.

This one really offended me, because I'm pretty sure if I were any mythological creature it'd be a mermaid and not a dragon. The explanation also told me I'd be a dragon because I'm tough and assertive, which is funny to me because it makes me uncomfortable to even ask waiters for more sauce at restaurants out of fear of inconveniencing them. Definitely not tough or assertive.

3. I'm actually Dora the Explorer.

Side note: I grew up in the greater Boston area so I actually thought it was "Dora the Explora" for the longest time. Anyway, one quiz I took told me I was an explorer and gave me this result:

"You’re always looking for your next adventure, even if it’s a small one. You like having a goal, even if you don’t achieve it; you prefer the process more than the finished product. You’re frequently restless and don’t like to dwell on things."

This one is actually true. Moving on.

4. I'm more Rachel than Monica, which is wild.

In a 'Friends' related quiz I got: 26% Rachel, 23% Joey, 17% Monica, 15% Ross, 13% Phoebe, and 6% Chandler. Usually I don't take these quizzes at face value, but I am a little bit of a diva so I will accept this answer.

5. I'm a germaphobe.

But I knew that. I think most people are a little bit germaphobic if they have any sense of hygiene. After a quiz that consisted of ordering Chinese takeout, Buzzfeed guessed that my pet peeve is when people don't cover their mouths when they sneeze or cough. That does irritate me, but there are things that annoy me more. One of those things being people who sneeze into their hands. I feel like I can't emphasize that enough. I shouldn't have to explain that one.

6. I'm 22, but emotionally 29, but also 16 at heart.

I'm actually about to be 19 so none of these are correct. According to the way I like my cakes, though, I'm apparently a 22 year old living in London. That'd be cool, I can't completely hate that. Based on my definition of a perfect man I'm emotionally 29, and since I'm not there yet I can't tell if that's good or bad. As for being 16 at heart, I literally can't think of anything relevant that happened in that year of my life, so that's interesting.

7. I'm Jerry?!

I took a quiz called: "Build A Burger And We’ll Tell You Which 'Parks And Rec' Character You Are" and then immediately felt disrespected. Apparently people have trouble remembering my actual name, and I'm painfully awkward. Actually, now that I think about it...

8. I'm going to have 2 kids.

Based on a salad I make, apparently I'll have two kids someday. I mean, I can't complain. That's the perfect number for fitting into restaurant booths.

9. My Japanese name would be Yuri.

Correct me if I'm wrong but I thought that was a boy's name? It is a nice name though.

"You are 百合 - Yuri, a name that means “lily.” Your dominant trait is your kindness and you have a unique ability to see the true beauty in things that others might overlook. You are always the first to stick up for someone who is being bullied, and the last to give up on someone others have written off as hopeless."

Okay, it may be a boy name but I like it.

10. I was a happy kid.

This last one is right but I hope it's right for a lot of people!

"You were a truly pleasant and content child. Your attitude was entirely chipper and you laughed and laughed for hours. This lively merriment made you a fan of everyone and everything, so it’s no surprise you made friends easily! Keep your spirits flying high today by focusing in on the little delights in life that are worth celebrating."

So looking over all of these: some are right, some are somewhat right, some are really wrong and some are completely offensive (how am I not Tom?? I don't understand). Buzzfeed might not have all their deductive reasoning in check, but I have to say I am entertained.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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