Okay. After struggling with something all my life, I think it's finally time to speak out about it. All my life, I've been taller than most people I know. I mean, it's only natural with my dad being 7' tall. So therefore, all my life I have had struggles that everyone that's taller than your average bear deals with on a regular basis.
1. You can't find pants.
It's really difficult to find pants. If they fit my waist, they're almost guaranteed to not be long enough. Long pants? I'm sure the designers thought "long and slim" was the only option. The only reason I like winter is because even if my pants are a little short, boots can hide that.
2. Big feet means no shoes.
Being tall, you most likely have bigger feet than most people. Big feet makes it super hard to find shoes, and shoe shopping is my least favorite activity in the world. Nobody ever has my size, and when I do find shoes? They're never cute. Just because I have huge feet doesn't mean I don't like nice things. Come on. "Oh you have to order online." Yeah, that's great except I can't try them on and it'll cost an arm and a leg. I can't win.
3. It's dangerous.
Being tall trying to navigate in a world designed for average height or shorter can be dangerous. Stand up at a table in a restaurant with low hanging lights? You're bound to hit your head at least once in awhile. Does a store have decorations hanging from the ceiling? Watch out, obstacles everywhere.
4. You don't fit anywhere.
Not only is the world dangerous, but it's also discriminatory! You can't go to movies, on an airplane or any seated event and expect to be comfy because your kneecaps are bound to hit the seat in front of you. Don't even think about wanting to go on some amusement park rides, your hopes will just get crushed. It's even difficult trying to cram your legs into the driver's seat of a car.
5. Repetitive jokes.
As if my life wasn't hard enough with these struggles, I get to hear tall jokes from a thousand people. It wouldn't be bad if it was a thousand different jokes instead of the same 5.
6. Sports questions.
"Do you play basketball?" "Oh you must have been a volleyball player." No actually. I broke my wrist playing basketball in gym in middle school, and I hate volleyball. So sorry everyone, especially the lady at work last year who told me I should be in the olympics because I'm "basketball tall." No medals brought home here.
7. It's hard to hide.
Whether you're having a bad hair day and you don't want to run into anyone important, or you're out at the store and you run into someone from high school you don't want to talk to, your height will always give you away. The only thing you can hope for is that you see them before they see you and divert your path.
8. Shaving's rough.
Everyone always wants super smooth legs but complains about the actual act of shaving. Imagine having super long legs. It takes longer than most people because there's more ground to cover. Not to mention, if there's no ledge to prop your foot on and you have to bend, it hurts your back reaching all the way down.
9. Showering anyone other than your own home.
When you shower at home, you have your shower just the way you like it. But going to a hotel, staying at someone else's house or any other situation were you need to take a shower away from home is scary. It's pretty hard to fit under a majority of shower heads and you end up having to bend in all kinds of weird positions.
10. Hugs are hard.
I love hugs! I'm a very affectionate person and hugs make me happy. But hugging people becomes a challenge. You either bend down to their level, or you get someone's head in an awkward position.
So yes. Go ahead and think your life is difficult because you can't reach something high up. Enjoy your pants that fit and amusement park rides.
Disclaimer: This is just a joke. Well, the struggles are real but they're just annoyances. I'm not actually that bitter.
