10 things to never say to someone with depression


If you know someone or are caring for someone with depression, in order to help them recover, here are some phrases that you may think are helpful, but in reality they are not. Do not say these even if you mean well.

10. "It's all in your head."

Well yes it's in my head, it's a MENTAL illness. But even so, I am not making this up, so please do not down play my pain because you have no idea what is going on in my head.

9. "I thought you were stronger than that."

This has zero to do with strength. I cannot help this from happening to me, and I am extremely strong for making it through this. Please never say that again.

8. "Well don't think about sad stuff."
Ok, I completely understand the people who try to make depressed people feel happy by distracting them or telling them they need to be strong, but this isn't helpful at all. Sometimes in order to recover, you NEED to think about the sad stuff. Depressed people are not happy. They need to process this emotion and find a way to work through it as opposed to just brushing away the problem as if it's nothing. Distractions only work for a little while.

7. "Just be your happy self!"
This can make someone feel as if they're "failing you" by being sad. I am trying to be my usual self, but this disease is stopping me. Please don't make me feel guilty for that.

6. "What do you have to be depressed about?"
There doesn't have to be a reason. If someone has cancer or any physical illness, you don't ask, why do you have this illness? They just do.

5. "You think you've got problems (starts talking about own problems)"
Please do not make this a competition. Let's just agree that we both have stuff going on, everyone does.

4. "Everyone gets depressed sometimes!"
Ok but not everyone has a clinical illness. Even so, just because it happens to everyone doesn't mean it doesn't suck and shouldn't be taken seriously.

3. "You're just looking for attention."
Trust me, the last thing I want right now is people asking me about my problems and any sort of attention. I didn't ask for this.

2. "You don't look depressed."
People with depression become very good at hiding emotions. Also what does a person with depression even look like? Just because I'm not always crying and staying how sad I am, does not mean I am not.

1. "People have it worse than you."
Ok yes, but people also have it better than me, and you're not using that as a reason why I shouldn't be happy. Everyone has different situations, and whatever situation you're in may be the worst for you, so it doesn't matter what others have or don't have.

Keep this in mind if you ever have to be there for a friend with depression. Even if you mean well, these words can hurt. Always be there for your loved ones struggling.