Growing up a preacher’s child has both its advantages and its disadvantages. I grew up in a loving preacher’s family. My father is a United Methodist preacher in Virginia, and I truly believe we are blessed beyond belief. But being a preacher’s kid isn’t always what it seems to be. These are the ten struggles that every preacher’s child knows to be true:
1. Everyone Thinks You’re a Therapist
If there is one thing I’ve discovered being a preacher’s child, it’s that everyone seems to think I came out of the womb with a PhD in psychology. If your parent isn’t around, you all of a sudden fall victim to having to explain a very deep question to a religious doubter, or to counsel someone going through a crisis. Just because I live with a preacher does not mean I am one. Don’t get me wrong, I love that you trust me with your problems and want to know my opinions about controversial subjects, but I am not an expert. I'm only 18 years old - I can barely handle my own problems. If you want some real help, please seek an actual professional because all I can offer is my horrible advice that almost always ends in “but don’t take my advice, though …”
2. Every Movie Makes You Look Like A Psycho Axe Murderer
If the Lifetime Movie Network is good for anything, it’s definitely making preachers' kids look like insane psychopaths whose favorite hobbies include skipping church, smoking, and murdering innocent people. Either that, or from the show "Preacher’s Daughters," it makes us look like potheads who love to go from one potential lover to the next. Either way, entertainment media has it totally wrong. Newsflash: preachers' kids are just as average, and just as boring, as a doctor’s kids, a flight attendant’s kids, a teacher’s kids, or even a construction worker’s kids.
3. Having So Many Opinions, But Not Being Able To Talk About Them
As a preacher’s kid, it shouldn’t come as a shock that most of the time you can’t speak about your opinions on social media, and especially around church. It’s not that your parents forbid it, it’s just kind of quietly understood. Your role as the preacher’s child definitely does not include getting into fights on Facebook or Twitter about controversial topics, but rather keeping them to yourself. But no one ever said you couldn’t think “I’ll pray for you …” when reading someone else’s opinion.
4. Knowing That Hearing “My Father Is A Preacher” Scares Off Any Potential Love Interests
Nothing like the words “My father is a preacher” to scare off a potential boyfriend or girlfriend. For some reason, hearing these words can make anybody want to turn the other way and run. Why? I’m still not 100% sure. Maybe they think God is watching our relationship even closer than most, but either way, this is one big bomb to drop on a relationship, and it gets even scarier when your potential boyfriend/girlfriend actually meets your parent … especially if they meet them on a Sunday.
5. Anything You Do May End Up in A Sermon
It is always a surprise to be sitting in church on Sunday and all of a sudden hearing your name in the sermon. Or worse - when you aren’t even there and someone tells you your parent talked about you in their sermon. You do not know anxiety until you know you did something embarrassing during the week and are waiting to see if it pops up in the middle of your mom or dad’s sermon. In my house, we have a rule that if your name is mentioned in my dad’s sermon, he owes you five dollars. So to any preacher’s kids reading this article, feel free to adopt that rule in your own home.
6. Annual Conference
There is nothing more stressful than this meeting preachers go to called “Annual Conference.” What sounds like an easy-going, relaxing meeting is actually quite torturous for preachers' families. It is at this meeting that the preacher finds out if he will be staying at church for another year, or being relocated. If it wasn’t common knowledge already, preachers don’t just pick a church and stay until they feel like leaving; they have a boss who decides which church they go to and how long they stay here. Having to go through this stress every year of wondering if you have to pack up the whole parsonage and move to another church is sometimes too much to handle.
7. Being Volun-told To Help At All Church Activities
Church carnival? Youth group having a car wash? Vacation Bible School? Church Christmas party? Any kind of fundraiser? Yard sale? Bake sale? Great, you’ll be there! Starts really early in the morning? Oh, even better! No matter what the activity is or what time it starts and ends, chances are you’ll be there.
8. When People Think Your Dad Only Works On Sunday
There is nothing more frustrating than people acting like being a preacher isn’t a real job because they "only work on Sundays.” Oh honey, they preach on Sunday, teach Bible studies other days of the week, do weddings, do funerals, counsel others, have meetings, have Saturday services, and so much other stuff. So, please stop assuming preachers "only work on Sundays."
9. Everybody Knows You, Even People You Do Not Know
Being known is sometimes a good thing, but it can also be a bad thing - especially when everyone knows your business. Nothing is more awkward than walking into church and having someone you have never met, or have no recollection of meeting, come up and hug you and tell you how much you have grown.
10. Always Being The Back-Up When Someone Doesn’t Show Up
Person who couldn’t read scripture didn’t show up? Whoever was in charge of the soundboard called in sick? We need an extra usher? We need someone to pass out bulletins? Awesome, the preacher’s kid can do it! There’s nothing like finding out you’re reading the scripture as you walk into the sanctuary, or as soon as you walk into church, being motioned to go up to the sound room to control the PowerPoint slides and soundboard.
But no matter what, being a preacher's kid is one of the most amazing facts about you. You have your amazing family, as well as your amazing church family. There may be some downsides to being a preacher's child, but for every negative fact, there are dozens of positive facts and you wouldn't trade being a preacher's kid for the world.
