I usually like to classify myself as a girly-girl. I mean, I like girly things like dresses and anything mint-colored. I'm not opposed to glitter and I do scream Justin Bieber lyrics when no one is home and attempt to hit the high notes while they are gone so I can't hurt my loved ones.

I overly enjoy pumpkin-flavored, caffeinated beverages, especially if they are iced.

I have too many shoes and a lack of available closet space.

I judge shampoos based on their scent and I look forward to wearing over-sized sweaters and scarves all year round. I look forward to estrogen sessions involving boxed wine, movies starring Ryan Gosling or James Franco, and pints of Ben and Jerry ice cream.

However, there are some things, that most girls know how to do, that I never do, never learned to do, or just fail miserably at. Here is just a short list of the few popular activities that I just plain suck at and cannot do.

1. Tanning.

I have been tanning a total of one time. I wouldn't say that I'm against it--maybe I'm just scared of it due to my exceptionally pale complexion. I don't think there is a novice tanning bed that wouldn't fry me like a pancake and spit me out looking like a garden salsa sun-chip. I guess I would rather just take my chances with the sun and 30 SPF sunscreen.

2. Make-up.

The smoky eye. I've known girls who have been able to do their own makeup, and it actually looks good, since middle school. I just don't understand, can't even comprehend, how they know how to do that. I've lapped around the sun twenty-one times and I just perfected how to put on mascara. Does it come naturally to a person? What blends with what? How does one learn how to contour? How do you bronze your nose? Why does my mom think I should buy concealer for the 'dark circles' around my eyes? How long is that going to take to put on? To this day, I still am trying to perfect any type of eye shadowing technique. Thank God I have friends who know how to hold an eyelash curler because I sure as heck do not.

3. Pretty Little Liars.

That's right, I've never seen PLL. I don't know why this one has escaped me. I guess that I just never had the television on what used to be ABC Family, rest in peace ABC Fam —the OG. It also drove me up a wall when I saw every girl in these United States was tweeting about who the mysterious "A" was. I mean, the show is based on a book series right, so if you wanted to know.. why not just read the books? Or skip to the chapter when A is revealed?

4. Teasing Hair.

I don't rat my hair, and I don't know how to 'bump." Not the baby bump, although that is also unfamiliar territory for me. I cannot tease my hair to save my life. In high school, at every basketball and football game, I was the only cheerleader with a flat head. Don't get me wrong, others have attempted to tease my hair for me. It's like Squidward in the episode where he loses his job at the Krusty Krab, it just won't work. If anything, I looked like a dinosaur. I also can't french braid, fishtail, or any style in between. I can barely manage a simple, three stranded, OG braid.

5. Country Music.

I like the occasional country song at a tailgate on a sunny, Saturday afternoon in July. But, I'm not one that counts down the days to the Country Music Awards, watches CMT, listens to Jason Aldean, Kenny Chesney, and Sam Hunt. As a matter of fact, if you put the three in a line-up, I probably would not be able to identify each one correctly. I could count the number of country artists I know on one hand, and I've already listed three. I'm also counting Taylor Swift.

6. Starbucks.

Why would I pay $6 for a frappuccino when I can go outside and get a cup full of dirt for free. Sorry, that was a bit dramatic. But I've never been a 'Starbs' girl. My friends and family know this. I would never cheat on Dunkin Donuts with the green lady.

7. Flowers.

I like looking at flowers when they are in the ground. I don't really like them on my clothing. But most importantly, I don't like being sent them, not that I've been getting a ton lately. It's the thought that counts, everyone says. Flowers die. I don't want to watch something die before my eyes. Send me food or a gift card for food. Food is internal. Food doesn't die. Food makes me live.

8. Dancing.

I can't dance. I don't know how to dance and be "sexy." I can't twerk. My "dancing" is more of a flailing of my arms and legs with some random fist-pump-knuckle-bump motions thrown in. I avoid dancing in public because I don't want to hurt people with my moves and grooves. I can hand-jive though and break my legs. Those are two solid moves I have tucked under my sleeves.

9. Romance novels.

It could be because there is an empty hole in my chest cavity, but I don't read books because of their love stories, I want more than that. You know what I mean, the Nicholas Sparks novels. The same story. The same setting, "Girl at or near the beach. Boy. Someone in the girl's family is dying." I don't do Nicholas Sparks novels anymore. Hand me anything, literally anything else. Keep your Nora Roberts book recommendation to yourself. I'd rather read a nonfiction book about World War II in The Pacific or Calvin and Hobbes comic-book than walk down the romance aisle in Barnes & Noble.

10. Texting

I am sure this is something that every girl thinks they need improvement in. I am not good at texting boys especially because I really just talk like I text and say what I want to who I want. I'm a little too blunt and straight-forward in real-life, and my texts are the same way. If I have a question then I'll ask, and if I think you're being a jerk, I'm going to text you and say: you are a jerk. I have trouble with the whole offense and defense concept that seems to happen when you're texting someone. I don't know how to flirt in a text. I'd rather just not text back if I don't know what to say or don't have anything left to add. I do not know when it is appropriate to use what emoji's and when to use them.

A girl just can't love and learn everything I guess. There's too many girly-girl bases for me to cover. I'm in over my head.