Anyone that has ever worked with the public, whether it is in retail or food service, has probably said something along the lines of, "everyone in the world would be so much nicer if every person worked just one day in retail/ food service." Well, I've done both and it's amazing what some people do and say in both places, so yes, I wish everyone would experience it for some period of time, because I think it makes you so much more conscious about being considerate when you go out yourself. Anyway, since I just got out of a serving shift, I'm feeling inspired to vent about a few of the struggles of being a server. This way, even if you've never done it, maybe you can be made aware, and if you are a server, you know what I'm talking about.

1. Server: "Hi, how are you all doing tonight?"

Customer: "I'll have a pinot grigio, and can we get some bread too?"

No, I wasn't just trying to be a polite person and welcome you, I'll just get right on that drink order.

2. Customer: "I know the menu says no substitutions, but I really don't like ___, can I replace it with ___? And also can I have ___ instead of ___?"

No, no, you cannot. It doesn't say "no substitutions unless you're a customer," but since you're tipping me and I don't want to deal with you're dirty looks, I guess I'll go argue with the kitchen for a few minutes and if they still won't do it then please don't be angry because we aren't doing something we already said we wouldn't do.

3. Customer: "I'm just going to have a water for now, but I'll have a cabernet with the meal."

*Serves meal*

Server: "Do you need anything else? Anything I might be forgetting?"

"I'm all set."

*Drops check*

Customer: "I hope I wasn't charged for that wine, because I wanted it with my meal, but you never brought it."

Well, that would be because there is no button in the system that tells the bartender that I need the wine "when I serve your meal" and I have four other tables that I'm taking care of, and when I asked you if you needed anything, you didn't respond, so no I never put it through, you weren't charged, and that's why you never got it.

4. 3:00- 7:30 pm *walks around eating bread and trying to find something to do*

7:45 *sprinting around the dining room because of being triple sat when 45 people came in out of nowhere all at the same time*

It's amazing how quickly in a shift you go from walking around being annoyed that you're wasting your time, to running around trying to take care of your 5 super needy tables who all came in at the same time.

5. Constantly wanting to eat because you're around so much food, but having no time at all because you're at your hungriest during the rush.

6. "Let's do something tonight, when do you get out of work?"

It's been over a year, and still, every time someone asks me this they expect an actual answer. Being a server means you have no idea when you are done, it's determined by a delicate combination of how many servers are on, when you came in, how busy it is, and what manager is on, because we all know there are some managers who actually cut when it's slow, and others that have serious paranoia that there will be a huge rush and keep you on all night.

7. Customer: "Wow, you are fantastic, you have been so great! Where is your manager?"

*Customer gushes to the manager about how great you are*

*Tips 10%*

You see, I'm really not trying to be greedy, but I get paid about $3 an hour, most of which I don't even see because of taxes. I appreciate the compliments, but if I did my job really well, you were happy with my service and the food, please keep that in mind.

8.Sick? Make sure you find a cover, otherwise don't be late.

There are no excuses for not coming in, except maybe if you're arrested or hospitalized. Otherwise, find a cover, or lose your job. It's actually pretty gross if you think about it that a server has to come in even if they're sick, but there you have it.

9. *Serves party of 20 and drops the check*

"Oh. I'm sorry, but we're going to need separate checks."

You couldn't have at least said that before so I could write down who ordered what? Did you think I memorized each of your drink and food orders? I didn't.

10. Finally, of course, that fake laugh you have to muster up every time someone makes an "it was awful" joke while handing you their empty plate.