The trifecta for stress: Midterms, essays, and lab projects. If you’re in college, you will do anything to avoid the daunting week full of work ahead. Instead, you procrastinate like the majority and decide “hey ten minutes of youtube won’t hurt.” Two hours later, you’re double chin deep into the weird side of youtube and realized you wasted your time watching cats with deep voiced meows. So instead of helping you guys avoid procrastination, I’ll encourage it. Want to read this article to procrastinate some more? Here is an article on ten ways to procrastinate!
1. Clean your room
Cleaning your room can help give the illusion that you are being productive. When everything seems out of control, at least your room smells like stress relief aromas and Clorox.
2. Watch Netflix
Watch netflix or even youtube until your eyes fall out. When your eyes slowly start to burn, just keep going until you go blind. So then you don’t need to technically take your midterm.
3.Eat food
Stuff your face with any greasy carbs because apparanlty carbs are the easiest thing to make when your lazy and talentless. I personally like to sit and scroll through postmates then realize i’m broke. Then I wander around, slowly, until I find a decent piece of junk food that I can gorge myself with.
4.Go out with friends
You told yourself, okay, it’s time to grind. Then you get that loud buzz from your phone on your desk because turning off your phone to focus are for losers. You read the dreaded text “hey let’s go out.” Then youre like “aw man, of course I have to go.I can’t just disappoint my friends like how I disappoint my GPA and parents.” You tell yourself “no drinking” then you're on the floor with a random Jessica crying over a Brad you never knew.
5. Scroll past the same Instagram feeds
Yeah, Ive zoomed in on her abs like ten times and that puppy video about another twenty times. I watched endless videos of tasty videos like I’m going to make it, but I end up eating hard toast instead.
6.Listen to music
Listening to loud music doesn’t help you focus, but what it does is remind you have that party you went to last night instead of studying. You realize you hate yourself, but this song is singing it for you.
7. Stare at the wall or anything instead
I can’t do this, I can’t do this, I can’t do this. I literally give up.
8. Squeeze your fat and complain
Sitting on your chair staring at the wall makes you feel fat and bloated. You squeeze it and slowly motivate yourself to go work out.
9. Workout
So you're at the gym and you just sit there stretching wondering why you're there. You look around confused and spend an hour doing nothing. So you trudge home more tired than motivated because that’s college.
10. Cry
It’s not a phase. Just cry.
Hey at the end, crying makes you feel better. It also makes you tired so take a nice nap after all the ten steps to procrastinate.
