Now that it's finals week, we all have to face the facts: those paper assignments we got at the beginning of the semester are finally due. There's nothing holding you back anymore: no excuses of too much other work, or having a test to study for, or that "it's not due for another three week I've got plenty of time!". We all have to face the music. Here're the 10 stages we all know and love of writing the dreaded final paper.
1. A Few Weeks Before the Deadline: you get the assignment and think: "great! This isn't due 'till the end of the semester, I don't have to worry about this for like a month!"
It's at this point that the prompt seems easy, and the page length seems manageable. Fifteen pages on American democracy? No problem!2. And now, you promptly forget about the assignment, burying it with all your other work that's due at the end of the semester. Paper, what paper?
3. But suddenly, the professor mentions the assignment in class and it hits you: wait, it's only one week away now??
This is when the panic starts to set in, and your frantically going through all your assignments trying to find the prompt. How could you forget this??4. Once you find the prompt and the second stage of panic dies down, it's time for stage two of procrastination.
You do some lighthearted research, maybe write down a loose outline. At this point, your still able to convince yourself that just looking at the prompt is the equivalent to actually starting the essay.
5. As the deadline starts to get a bit closer, you can finally prompt yourself into actually getting words down on the page. Sure they're not great words, but it's better than nothing, right?
6. It's about three days before the paper's actually due. You think you're in good shape, but then after you read over your rough draft you realize: what on earth was I thinking? This is the second stage of panic, where you doubt every argument you've made, and don't even know if what you wrote down qualifies as English.
Time to rewrite the whole thing!7. Two days until the due date isn't too last minute to email the professor, right?
Dear Professor,
How do I put this eloquently?
Please send help!
Sincerely,
A Severely Screwed Student
8. And with one day to spare, you finally get to your last draft. It's been a long time coming, but you're finally free! Go and watch some Netflix, you deserve it.
9. But wait!! You realize you have a ton of citations to do before you can hand it in. This is the last stage of panic, the "where-did-I-even-get-this-quote-from" and "does-this-even-technically-need-a-citation?" kind of panic.
10. When the citation catastrophe is averted, and you finally have your paper done, it's time to print that thing out and hand it triumphantly to your professor.
But of course, that's not before a mini printer crisis, followed by another mini