According to USA Today at least 15 million people have downloaded Pokémon Go. 90s children and all gamers alike are rejoicing in the opportunity to set forth in their new, Pokémon loaded, augmented reality. Having been a product of the 90s, I too have taken part in the game. Not only is it fun, it is highly addictive. I frequently catch myself opening it up without consciously thinking about it, like I would do with my Facebook app. I also find not only myself, but other players, talking and yelling at the app during the game. Let me tell you, the game gets serious. Here are the 10 stages of rage that Pokémon Go players go through during an average Pokémon session:
1. When you can't get on the server.
I know most of us have experienced this one. You go to click on your app and you patiently wait for The Pokémon Company, Niantic and Unity pages to go away only to be taken to the Google login page and not allowed onto the app, or get all the way onto the loading page (with the be aware of your surroundings message-- really though be aware of your surroundings people!) for the app to tell you that it cannot connect to the server and asks you to refresh.
2. When the app freezes.
Everything is all fine and dandy until the app freezes when you're in the middle of catching a Pokémon. I know it's happened to me several times, especially right after I've caught the Pokémon and the camera zooms in on my pokéball. Then you quickly close out the app and restart it to only find that the captured Pokémon is not in your pokédex.
3. When a Pokéstop tells you to try again later.
Come on guys. Y'all couldn't have come up with anything better to tell us than to try again later? I don't want to try again later. I just got here. Couldn't you have told me you weren't going to give me anything before I walked all the way here?! My life depends on these pokéballs (not really, but seriously).
4. When the app closes out on its own.
You can be walking along, enjoying your afternoon poké-stroll, looking out for any good Pokémon nearby and then BOOM. Your app just closed out out of nowhere! What if there had been a wild Snorlax there. Come on!
5. When the app tells you that you only need 0.01 km more to hatch an egg and you end up walking a mile before it actually hatches.
I don't know about you guys, but I swear every time it tells me I only have 0.01 km left to hatch my egg, I end up spending at least 30 minutes walking around, checking my egg every two seconds, waiting for it to pop up on my screen. How far is 0.01 km? Why did I never learn the metric system?! Okay just one... more... step.
6. When you walk 10km and your egg hatches a Pokémon with a low CP.
After all that walking is over and you finally get the glory of seeing your egg hatch, and it hatches an Eevee with 125 CP...
7. When you can't get into a gym.
You finally find a gym that you can confidently say you can beat. You have your Pokémon all lined up and ready to go. Then you press the fight button and it won't let you in. Or even worse, when it lets you in but immediately kicks you back out. That gym was supposed to be mine... don't worry, I'll be back though! You lucked out this time, you weren't ready for this Pokémaster!
8. When you're fighting in the gym and the app randomly tells you the gym is too far away.
Okay seriously WTF.
9. When all that pulls up on your radar is Rattatas.
Who here has ever been personally victimized by a Rattata?
Because I know I have. They just won't go away!
10. When you're driving and you can't stop to get a Pokémon.
It's the worst when you're driving and see a good Pokémon.
Oh look a Pokémon, I need it! I should stop. Ah crap there's a car behind me. Should I just slow down? That car looks like they're in a hurry. Why won't it let me click on the Pokémon?! Agh. I should just go.
After all that, Pokémon Go is still awesome. If you haven't downloaded it yet, I highly recommend you do so.
Oh and go team Instinct!
