Joining a pre-made friend group is a little like getting married to somebody who already has kids. They have something going on already, and it's perfect and looks like a lot of fun. And although you're friendly with all of them, actually becoming a member of their friend group is the next step. All you want is to be the cool, accepted stepparent to this group of people. And this is how it's happens:
1. You start hanging out with them.
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Maybe there's a constant study session at the library or a long-standing hang-out in a food court. You drop by, say "hello," or hang out for a few hours -- and it's totally natural. This is the first sign that you've picked the right friends. They're kind and funny, and don't mind the fact that you've infiltrated their plans, because hey, the more the merrier.
2. You begin to catch up on all the inside jokes.
Laughing at something you understand is 1000-times better than pretending to get it. Not only are certain jokes explained to you, but you're around for the formation of certain brand new inside jokes and jibes. The feeling is like that of being presented with your wand at Ollivander's: the joke has chosen you. Meet "Spaghetti on a Tuesday!!!," the funniest thing you will ever know.
3. You realize they like hanging out with you just as much as you like hanging out with them, and it's awesome.
Usually, you'd feel #blessed to be around such cool people, but then suddenly it hits you that they must think you're cool, too, or else they're really good at laughing after bad jokes. Just as they've brought happiness and good times into your life, you're adding something positive in theirs, too!
4. You are bestowed with the latest drama.
Suddenly everyone's saying "OK, wait, let me give you the back story" and your heart races because you know you're about to be gifted with gossip. Being trusted with all the stuff going down in a friend's life is an awesome feeling, and you'll never let the secrets spill, but you will laugh about them with your friend when boys are stupid or life is hard or parties suck.
5. In return, you open up.
Now it's your turn to catch everybody up on you life story. You give a quick biography (there are some childhood traumas at the zoo they can't miss out on) and then move onto the trinity of truths: love life, existential worries and stuff from high school you're still not over. Fun times!
6. Traditions are learned and loved.
You feel like an extra special egg when you're casually sitting on somebody's couch for the Saturday Night Scrabble tournament you've been winning since three weeks ago, because what once felt new is now normal. It's the difference between the first Friday Night Dinner on "Gilmore Girls," and the ones in season 5.
7. The friends that drink together, stay together.
Disclaimer: this doesn't mean alcohol! Tea buddies, espresso pals and health-fiend infused water friends are real live things that exist. This also goes for other drinking things. Knowing your friend's coffee order, or bringing them a chai tea to that afternoon class because you know it'll be a nice pick-me-up is also applicable. It sounds silly, but simple things like that make you feel like a SuperFriend TM.
8. Everything gets weird.
After a certain point, there is no hold barred on the craziness that will escape your friends. Late night jam sessions to commercial jingles? Sending each other YouTube links to puppies and ducklings being friends? Snapchatting faces that would send any other person running for the hills? That's all cool now.
9. Then everything gets mushy.
"Bye, love you," is you hanging up the phone. With your mom? Your significant other? Nah, it's the goofball who ate a whole pot of mac and cheese with you last night. Here's looking at you, friendy. At this point you have nicknames, go-to cuddling positions, and you both know the just-right way to play with the other one's hair when she needs it.
10. You look around, and you are the luckiest person you see.
It's because of your friends that you feel this way! They're the coolest, kookiest, cuddliest people you are fortunate to have in your life. You are no longer the stepparent of the friend group, you're just one of the fam in the best way possible.
Shout out to all the friends who inspired bits and pieces (and large chunks) of this list. You're phenomenal, and I am so thankful!
