I am completely willing to admit that I am a college football fanatic. I look at depth charts, follow recruiting classes, read countless articles and get irrationally excited when the season is about to begin. If you share any of these tendencies, keep reading, because this article is all about you.
1. You know what you're doing every Saturday from now until the beginning of January.
You even have it marked down in your planner, probably. Weddings? Parties? Baby showers? Birthdays? Nope, football. Every Saturday from dawn to dusk you can likely be found planted in front of your television or in the stadium with wide eyes and nothing is going to get in the way of that. One Alabama fan recently joked about leaving his wife-to-be at the altar because she scheduled their wedding on the day of the Alabama/USC game. I still don’t know if he was kidding.
2. You are a tailgating maniac.![]()
You are a veteran tailgater from way back. You know all the recipes and your TV is already hooked up inside your tent just waiting for a crowd. Your grill is already waiting in the back of your SUV. All 25 of your lawn chairs have your team’s logo on them, just so everyone knows who you’re for, and you’re probably having a buffet at your tent. If you’re really having a buffet at your tent, please call me.
3. You lose your voice every Saturday.
You yell, you scream and you maybe even cry a little depending on how the game is going. Whether your team is winning or losing there’s a high probably that you’re shouting either at the TV or as a part of the crowd. In church on Sunday your singing voice will be nearly non-existent, but as the season goes on your vocal chord strength will improve.
4. Your team's win-loss record determines your mood.
If your team wins, it means an entire week of walking on air and bragging to your friends about how great they are. If they lose, it means you’re inconsolable all week and your friends who are fans of different teams make fun of you. It’s a delicate line you walk every single season and you always hope to be on the winning end. If you aren’t, make sure to bring a paper sack to put over your head at school or work.
5. You're willing to fight for your team.![]()
Whether it’s your friends, your family or a stranger who just saw the logo on your hat, you’re willing to argue with them about the state of your team. Take it from me, you may not want to wear an Alabama hat into a Zaxby’s in Corinth, Mississippi, unless you’re prepared for this. This is true every day of the season, including major holidays. Merry Christmas ya filthy animals.
6. God help anyone who bothers you when your team is on.
If someone says anything to you while your favorite team is playing, unless it’s about the game you likely didn’t hear a word of it. That trash you were supposed to take out? Still there. The dinner you were supposed to make? Looks like you’re going to McDonald’s later. That kid you were supposed to babysit? No one knows where he is. That homework you had? On Monday you won’t even be able to find it. If (God forbid) anyone blocks the TV or changes the channel, they should be prepared for the scolding of their life.
7. If you aren't watching college football, you're reading up on it.
You probably are subscribed to at least ten different websites that frequently break news about the college football world. It doesn’t matter if the news is huge or arbitrary, you’re reading it. If you didn’t check on your team daily, you simply wouldn’t be doing your true duty as a fan.
8. Every Saturday you wake up without an alarm.
Monday through Friday it takes at least six alarms for you to even move, but on Saturday you don’t even bother setting one because you just know when it is time. You sit up in bed and you’re ready for game day.
9. If college football is on, you're in front of the television.
When your team’s game ends, you don’t just move away from the TV, you keep watching. Even if it’s a team you can’t stand, you still can’t look away. So what if it’s Western Kentucky and Rice? It’s still perfectly good football. From noon until midnight you can count on seeing a football game on a Saturday and that’s the way you like it.
10. You can hardly control your excitement for the next set of games.
Other people need coffee, but all you need is the knowledge that another set of college football games are coming up. That’s enough to keep you going for the rest of the week and beyond. When the season ends its back to Starbucks, but until then you’re going to save a lot of cash. You also sometimes have to make yourself calm down so that you don’t alarm young children.
