You know when you go to the beach and you just can’t wait to get home and take off your bikini so you can compare your fresh bronze glow with the milky white skin that remains hidden? I know you think it’s satisfying- it’s tangible progress.

This year while bathing suit shopping, I came across many swimsuits that had a lot going on with them. There were many reasons why I didn’t purchase them; one being the common female comment of “I don’t think I can pull that off.”

Whenever we see a woman in an eccentric, strappy bathing suit, we usually think, “damn.” But us traditional Target bikini-wearing women may be coming out on top after all- consider the tan lines.

1. Nasty Gal Sunstreak

http://www.nastygal.com/clothes-swimwear/sunstreak-swimsuit-black

This particular piece of fabric looks like it should be a maternity bathing suit -- there’s a perfectly awkward opening for your extra tan stomach. The strings and neckline will definitely make a splash if you are planning on wearing anything other than a turtleneck.

2. Nasty Gal Up to No Good Swimsuit

http://www.nastygal.com/clothes-swimwear/nasty-gal-up-to-no-good-swimsuit

The only thing that is no good is the zebra-like tan you will get from spending too long in the sun in this suit.

3. Victoria’s Secret Mesh One-Piece

https://www.victoriassecret.com/swimwear/one-pieces-tankinis

This is great because you won’t have to wear jewelry on your arms for a while. The mesh tan is guaranteed to not make you look like you have a weird rash.

4. H&M One-Shoulder Swimsuit

http://www.hm.com/us/product/00515?article=00515-A

I have a hard enough time understanding the comfort or appeal one-shoulder clothing items as is, but this bathing suit certainly doesn’t help. You’re pretty much stuck wearing one-shoulder shirts until this bad boy fades. Do I even mention the stomach situation…?

5. Robin Piccone ‘Mia’ Mitered Crochet One-Piece Swimsuit from Nordstrom

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/robin-piccone-mia-mitered-crochet-one-piece-swimsuit/3929815?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=408

It’s super cute except for the tribal tattoo that your stomach will have the pleasure of experiencing. What happens when you try to wear a bikini the next day?

6. Lolli Swim Cutout High Waist One-Piece Swimsuit from Nordstrom

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/lolli-swim-cutout-high-waist-one-piece-swimsuit/3945421?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=4430

The neck! The cutouts on the waist! I can’t even tell what part of her body those cutouts are on. They look like pockets that are just, stomach. And did I mention the neck?

7. Lolli Swim Black Multistrap Two Piece Swimsuit

http://www.lollicouture.com/swimsuits-twopiece-hk1-0731-9511black.htm

I think I may just be missing the choker/weird neck material memo.

8. Rosegal Stylish Halter Solid Color High-Waisted Two-Piece Bandage Swimsuit

http://www.rosegal.com/swimwear/stylish-halter-solid-color-high-147633.html

Similar to the Lolli Swim, but with more side-boob. Tanned side-boob, thanks to this swimsuit.

9. Free People Kahala Top

http://www.freepeople.com/shop/kahala-top/?c=strappy%2Dswimwear

Of course this is Free People. It’s like a spider web on her chest. You better like that pattern, because you’re going to have it tanned onto your skin.

10. Michael Kors Strappy Belted Skirted Two-Piece Swimsuit from Bergdorf Goodman

http://www.bergdorfgoodman.com/Michael-Kors-Strappy-Belted-Skirted-Two-Piece-Swimsuit/prod108070114/p.prod?srccode=cii_426179448&cpncode=45-72003315-2&ecid=BGAP

There’s a lot going on in the name of the suit and a lot going on in the suit. Something tells me that strapping your waist in a leather belt isn’t the most comfortable way to experience the beach. Does the buckle heat up in the sun? I just have so many questions.