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10 Sex Tips That Are Literally The Worst

Unless you're into that sort of thing.

Luciux MacAskill

May 29, 2017

LGBTQ+ at Odyssey

332

10 Sex Tips That Are Literally The Worst

SlickBlackSatinPhotography

You've heard of the magazine "Cosmo" and the treasure trove of helpful advice within.

Well, this has almost nothing to do with that. Yet again the internet (and awkwardly, even the magazine itself) has taken something pure and wholesome and destroyed it. The plus side is, these are hilarious.

1. I Know It Feels Like Churning, But Please Stop.

2. This Is My Number One Method Of Staying Single

3. I Completely Understand BDSM, But Unless Your Bedroom Is Guantanamo Bay, Please Do Not

4. This Explains Twelve Different Emergency Room Stories

5. Slow Down There, Satan

6. You Could Do This, But You Might Have To Pay Royalties

7. None Of Us Here Are Sure How This Applies To Sex, But If You Try It, Let Us Know

8. Legally I Am Required To Tell You Not To Do This

9. Bonus Points If You Own A Parrot

10. Ten Out Of Ten, Would Recommend

Do you have any awful sex tips? Feel free to make your contribution to society through the hashtag #SexTips.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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11 Signs You Live At The Library As Told by 'Parks And Recreation'

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Finals week is upon us. It is a magical time of year during which college students everywhere flock to the library in attempt to learn a semester's worth of knowledge in only a week. For some students, it's their first time in the library all semester, maybe ever. Others have slaved away many nights under the fluorescent lights, and are slightly annoyed to find their study space being invaded by amateurs. While these newbies wander aimlessly around the first floor, hopelessly trying to find a table, the OGs of the library are already on the third floor long tables deep into their studies. Here is a few signs that you may live in the library, whether you'd like to admit it or not.

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Recommended for you

10 Sex Tips That Are Literally The Worst

Unless you're into that sort of thing.

1. I Know It Feels Like Churning, But Please Stop.

2. This Is My Number One Method Of Staying Single

3. I Completely Understand BDSM, But Unless Your Bedroom Is Guantanamo Bay, Please Do Not

4. This Explains Twelve Different Emergency Room Stories

5. Slow Down There, Satan

6. You Could Do This, But You Might Have To Pay Royalties

7. None Of Us Here Are Sure How This Applies To Sex, But If You Try It, Let Us Know

8. Legally I Am Required To Tell You Not To Do This

9. Bonus Points If You Own A Parrot

10. Ten Out Of Ten, Would Recommend

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The transition into adulthood is never easy

1. "Unlimited Freedom!"

2. "Dorm Life!"

3. "Never mind, where is my apartment?"

4. "Whose idea was this 8 AM?"

5. I'm so looking forward to that nap."

6. "I don't have the brain capacity for this"

7. "Wow, college is great"

It's easier than you think.

1. Look into Housing and Dining.

2. Pay attention to campus postings.

3. Find common interest groups.

4. Join an intramural sports team.

5. Work on a cause that you care about.

6. Join a club related to your major.

7. Get an on-campus job.

8. Volunteer.

College without friends is like peanut butter without jelly.

1. You need people to hang out with.

2. You don’t want to be stuck alone eating lunch or dinner.

3. Weekends suck without anyone to share them with.

4. College will be miserable for you.

5. Finding a roommate for the following year will be impossible.

6. You need someone to talk to about personal stuff or homework that isn’t your mom.

7. Classes will be boring and quiet for you if you don’t know anyone.

8. Walking around campus is just awkward.

9. Homework help and study buddies do not exist.

Why it pays to leave the hoodie at home.

1. Comfort

2. Confidence

3. Surprises

4. Self Esteem

A few signs that you may live in the library whether you'd like to admit it or not.

1. You dress for the temperature of the library, not the weather outside.

2. You say hello to the security guard when he or she walks by.

3. The employees at Starbucks know your name and order.

4. You eat all your meals at a library cubby, not at your own house.

5. You take the quiet floors very seriously.

6. Any night you are not at the library is a special occasion.

7. You have shown up to the library hungover on more than one occasion.

8. Your friends always text you when they are going to the library because they know you will be there.

9. You have taken a nap in the library at some point.

10. You know all the cold and hot spots in the library.

11. You've seen your studying pay off.

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