In the next few weeks, students across America and the world are heading back to school, sometimes far out of state. I am one of those. I go to college in Indiana and I come from the most misunderstood state in the union: New Jersey. Here are some questions people ask me as soon as they find out where I'm from:

1. If you're from New Jersey, why don't you have the "Joisey" accent?

I'm starting here, because THIS is probably the worst thing you can ask someone from New Jersey.

At my Midwestern college, some people have slightly noticeable Chicago accents, and others, especially from way up north in Michigan and Wisconsin, also have their distinctive ways of speaking, but most Midwestern students I've met have THE generic American accent, as if they're from Anywhereville, USA. The thing is, I'm not from the Midwest, but I sound like I am. The Chicago/super-northern-Midwest students I've met with accents usually only have very slight ones at most. Similarly, of all the Southern students I know, most of their accents are equally generic, or very weak. Same thing with New Jersey. Why is that? Television. When people across America watch and listen to the same actors and news anchors, they learn to speak in similar ways, so regional accents are fading. That's why hardly anybody under 40 calls it "Joisey." That's the Brooklyn accent everyone's thinking of, which comes from NEW YORK. Speaking of New York...

2. New Jersey's just New York/Philly suburbs, right? So, you're basically just a New Yorker, right?

Here's a map of the "tri-state area," which is the parts of New Jersey, New York, and Connecticut around the city. Sometimes, when nobody's heard of my town, I'll say it's across the river from NYC, but that's a different thing entirely from calling myself a New Yorker. New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, and Connecticut are all very connected to each other due to geography and large connected cities and suburbs, but they're all different states with different characters. Even within New Jersey, there are at least two very distinct sections: North Jersey and South Jersey. North Jersey, the northern half of the state, is mostly made of cities and suburbs surrounding New York City, such as Jersey City, Newark, and Hoboken, and also very pleasant, increasingly affluent, suburbs as you go west. However, in northwestern NJ, there's a lot of nature with scenic hills and lovely lakes. South Jersey has some Philly suburbs and has the famous shore. However, there's a lot of stuff in the middle too! The Pine Barrens have a lot of cool forests and - you guessed it - pine trees! Also, in the southwestern part of the state, there are some farms. There's a lot more to New Jersey than just New York, Philadelphia, and the shore. I live near New York, but I do not claim to be a New Yorker because I'm not one. I'm not from the city, even though I live near it, and that's fine! I love my state.

3. But if you live near the city, you must go there ALL THE TIME, right?!

This one isn't so much an annoying question as it is a sad one, because I, like most people, wish I had more money, time, and energy coinciding at once, but I do not. However, it doesn't mean I'm always bored in my hometown, either. I may not live in THE city, but I still live in A city, so there's always something to do! Or people to see or sleep to get or awesome pizza to eat :D

Another thing to keep in mind is that nobody goes to New York, or any interesting place, as often as it seems on their Facebook, which would have you suggest that every American is always in Times Square and the Grand Canyon and Vegas and Chicago and Disney at the same time, forever, because people only post interesting, cool, and unusual things. Nobody wants to appear boring. Don't think that any of your friends spends all their time at the shore and the city, just because that's where their photos are. Hardly anyone does, cause hardly anyone can afford to. It's great to go there when there's a chance, but those chances are rare for most.

4. If you're from New Jersey, why aren't you a tan Italian?

I'm not a tan Italian-American, because I'm descended from mostly Irish immigrants, as well as some German, French, and Scottish people, a.k.a., the palest peoples of all time. Hence, I am also much paler than your average New Jerseyan. Since my family's really pale and not at all Italian, Hispanic, Filipino, African-American, or of any other ethnicity/race found commonly in New Jersey that tends to tan easily, we burn. Fast. Like really fast. So we don't go the shore much, hence no tan. However, even if I'm not Italian, all people from the Garden State appreciate some great pizza, leading me to the next question...

5. Why do you complain about how bad pizza is out here in (insert place here)?

Simple. New Jersey pizza is the best there is. In my town, which is merely five square miles, we have dozens and dozens of pizzerias, and they are thriving and fantastic. A key ingredient of pizza is tomato sauce, and New Jersey has the finest tomatoes in the world in the summer, leading to the greatest pizza. It also helps that New Jersey has one of the most Italian populations in America, and they have been perfecting the art of pizza for generations.

I understand that some of this applies for Chicago, but deep dish just isn't the same. It's good and very filling, but it's more of a bread bowl with sauce in it than what people expect when seeing "pizza" on a menu.

Outside of New Jersey and New York City, most pizza comes from chains. They're just bad. The best pizza comes from independent pizzerias, especially in the New York City area. Chains here know their pizzas are much worse than the competition, so they don't even try. At least in other states, they try a little, cause that's all the pizza there is out there.

So we talk about pizza because we were spoiled by growing up in pizza heaven. It's like when Southerners complain about barbecue in the North vs. South, or Midwesterners talking about the best corn where they come from. It's not that it's bad in other places... it just isn't good as we're used to it. Speaking of things that aren't good...

6. Do you know the cast of "Jersey Shore?"

...THIS

...this...

This question, not the first one, is actually THE most annoying on the list.

"the Jersey Shore" has tarnished forever the reputation of New Jersey in myriad ways, all for ridiculous reasons. First, as discussed above, there's a lot more to New Jersey than the shore, but there's also a lot more to the shore than Seaside Heights, where it took place (I just looked that up on Wikipedia - I never watched the show). Although I've never been there, I'm sure there's a lot more to Seaside Heights than the cast of that show too. Why, you ask? They're not even from New Jersey. THEY'RE NEW YORKERS. (Also one, still according to Wikipedia, is from Rhode Island, and he's apparently one of the saner ones.) Only one of the original cast is even from New Jersey. Then MTV took a bunch of people, paid them to act crazy, put "Jersey" in the title, and ruined my state's image for a generation forever. Thanks, reality TV!

...No, I'm not annoyed.

...But to answer the original question, I don't know them and my mom doesn't either, but Snooki left our local coffee shop exactly one minute before my mom went in one day. She was not thrilled by this revelation.

7. Okay, you don't know the "Jersey Shore" cast, but you still know a guy, right?

It doesn't really help that our state flag has a horse's head on it, but no, I don't know anyone in the mafia (as far as I know). However, with New Jersey being the most densely populated state in America, and my county being the most densely populated county in said state, most people in the state are maybe 2 or 3 degrees of separation from nearly everybody else in New Jersey, since the state is so small. So I (think I) don't know a guy, but I probably know a guy who knows a guy, as do most people from any Northeastern state.

8. Why is your state so small?

Why is your state so big? Next question.

New Jersey's borders, like most borders in the world, were decided fairly arbitrarily by colonial powers. Since American independence, there has been a law on the books called the Northwest Ordinance, which dealt with the creation of new states other than the original 13. It had requirements for statehood, such as a population of at least 60,000 in the area that applied for statehood. Since much of the land west of the Appalachians was still both rural, getting 60,000 people living in one area meant a huge area. This led to the creation of many Midwestern states in the late 1780s, and throughout American history as the nation expanded westward. To this day, much of New Jersey is cities and suburbs, and much of the Midwest is flat farms as far as the eye can see. Growing up in a city or a farm can have profound impacts on one's attitude, leading to the next question...

9. You're from a city in New Jersey, so why are you nice?

Because I'm rather mild-mannered and calm, and wear plaid a lot, when I got to college, some people thought I was a farm boy from Iowa. On the one hand, I'm glad people who ask this question like my personality, but I don't like this stereotype about my state. Granted, by growing up in a city, especially near New York, as New Jersey people tend to do, one encounters many people, especially tough people, and that can get to anybody and affect people's personalities. However, wherever one goes, there will be nice and not-so-nice people, whether you're in Pleasantville, Lovely County, Michigan/Ohio/Indiana/Illinois/Wisconsin/Minnesota, or Any City, Urban County, New Jersey. That's just human nature. There'll be all sorts of people, amazing and not, wherever you go, leading me to one final question:

10. Why is your state so into Bruce Springsteen and Jon Bon Jovi?

Bruce and Bon Jovi are some of the best musicians, not just from New Jersey, but from rock in America in general. Their music speaks to the soul, and anyone, New Jersey or not, can relate to it - it's about as authentic New Jersey as New Jersey gets. There's something very honest about music, and it all comes from somewhere - here, New Jersey, where they both grew up in working class families on by the shore, in a class and a place all can relate to. They're both very relatable, great people, and Bon Jovi owns a restaurant where people pay only as much as they can, as he knows people need to eat, even if they can't afford to.

And Bruce?

He's the boss.