It is extremely easy to become smitten with the guy who makes you laughs, compliments you, makes you feel special and showers you with gifts. It is dang near impossible to turn a guy away when he makes you feel that good. It almost seems silly to turn a guy away when he seriously makes you feel like the most beautiful, cared for girl on the planet. When he gives you butterflies every time you see him, when he makes you smile without even trying, when he hypnotizes you into seeing nothing in front of you except for him - you feel like you have really hit the jackpot. But have you really? Or have you quite literally had the wool pulled over your eyes? As us young women grow older and are starting to focus on starting families, getting married, finding life-long partners, etc. we have to get past the cherry-on-top aspects when it comes to men we choose to invest time into. We have to pay attention to the things that matter, and really focus on the red flags. Here are 5 sure-fire red flags you must take into consideration before ever exposing vulnerability to a guy:
1. He is overly concerned with his looks:
Okay this just screams vanity right off the bat; selfishness, insecurity and an entire line of issues you just don’t want to become familiar with. If you constantly notice him sneaking peaks of himself in the mirror, or subtly checking himself out in the rear-view while going down the road, the dude is probably a pig. If you notice more than once that he tends to flex his arms while he is glimpsing at his own reflection, or he takes ‘selfies’ or is overly concerned with how he looks on camera and has to have the ‘perfect angle’ for the ‘perfect picture’, he is more than likely a tool bag and a womanizer. Good men are not concerned with how they look, how they appear to other women, how ‘buff’ they look, or ‘ripped’ they appear in their rear view mirrors going down the road. Pay attention to vain, self-conceited douche bags who are far more worried about themselves than they ever will be with anything else, especially you. Selfishness is not cute, and leads to disaster every single time.
2. He takes ‘selfies’ on snapchat while you are together:
Number one, I believe a man that uses snapchat to begin with, has a little growing up to do (that is beside the point). But if you notice your boyfriend is constantly taking well-thought out pictures of himself on snapchat that do not involve you, or anything in this world that matters, he is more than likely immature, insecure and a cheater. I can promise you he is not sending topless selfies to his buddy Daniel. Do not be naïve; selfie-taking snapchat boys are nothing more than that - boys.
3. He lives with mommy and daddy:
Okay, I’m not saying it is a terrible thing for a guy to pay all of his own bills, yet stay at his parents for a year or so to save money. I am talking about the guys who have their mommy do their laundry, cook their dinner and clean their toilets for them, whilst having no ambition to create a life of their own. These guys usually pretend they do, but don’t pay for any of their own attributes (mommy and daddy do). That is just unattractive, and a pretty clear sign that this dude is lazy. A guy with no drive to get out and do things on his own is probably going to always be dependent, lazy and expectant of others to do things for him. It is important to find a man who is sufficient and works hard for him and provides for others, not expects everyone else to provide for him. Mommy’s boys are not cute – maybe find a man who works hard to provide for his mother who needs his help as a grown man, not the other way around.
4. He has no morals:
It is not very dependable to invest your time into a man who sets no moral standard for him or people he associates with. In life, there is such thing as right and wrong (well, when you’re a good person). If this guy cusses every other word in front of your family, thinks cheating is no big deal, brushes it under the rug when his friends are disrespectful to women, has no problem with leaving his waitress no tip because the kitchen made a mistake, thinks it is funny for his friends or others to be hateful to someone who is overweight, etc. he is out of control and is nowhere near someone you should desire to settle down with. Find a man who stands up for what is right, and says no to what is wrong. It’s important ladies.
5. He talks about his ex, or has an ex that always pops up:
STAY AWAY, STAY AWAY, AND STAY AWAY. I cannot stress enough how dangerous it is to get involved with a guy who has a steady past girlfriend who always pops back up, has a crazy moronic ex-girlfriend, has baggage with his ex-girlfriend, cannot seem to let his ex-girlfriend go, etc. If you go after a guy who you know has an ex he has broken up with, and gotten back together with 17 million times in his life, you have seriously set yourself up for failure, and it is pure ignorance on your part. STAY AWAY. If you even for one second question him and his ex-girlfriend, you are right – run away. Be smart, be proactive and check out a guy's past with woman before you step on a nail even though you saw it lying there.
6. You feel like you need to worry:
A good man will never ever cause you to worry. He will never leave you questioning his feelings for you, he will never leave you curious, he will never make you wonder if he is talking to other women, he will, without trying, leave you secure and without a doubt in who he is and his stance with you. Remember: if you ever have to wonder if someone cares about you, the answer is: they do not. There is no if’s, and’s or but’s about it. Do not gamble with your feelings, your life, and what you deserve. It is actually quite simple – if he leaves you concerned in any way – get out and do not go back.
7. He tells you he is “just wanting to have fun” or “living in the moment”:
Okay, nobody has time for that. If you ever, ever hear a guy say that – RUN, as far as you can, and as fast as you can go. That is a sign of pure immaturity, means for distrust, irresponsibility, and instability. If you cannot count on your man to be stable, then what good is he anyways? Someone who says this is a young boy either looking for one thing (we all know what that is), or seriously is not done partying and living past Friday night yet (most certainly nowhere near ready to settle down) – and us ladies are far better than that. If he ever says something even remotely close to he is ‘just looking for a good time’ or he is simply ‘living in the moment’, simply do not respond and use the good ole’ block button (because it doesn’t even deserve a response, trust me). Have a good one, dude!
8. He disrespects his mother or sister:
This is a definite no. If you notice the guy you are interested in is disrespectful to his mother, sister, grandmother, or any woman in his family, or woman at all for that matter, he really is not worth your time. Do not forget the old saying – ‘how a man treats his mother is how he will treat his wife’. I promise you – that remains true now, and always will! Just simply put an end to your fling with the guy who doesn’t have the utmost respect for the woman who raised him, or the women who love him most. Trust me on that one.
9. He consistently talks about sex, or subjects involving sex:
Yeah, that is just plain annoying and I cannot imagine sticking around with a guy who seems to have nothing more to talk about than sex, and making disgusting sex jokes. That is so unattractive, immature and gross. Let’s be honest, if it’s all he talks about, jokes about, thinks about, it’s all he wants. Be smart and walk away.
10. He is a womanizer:
Any man who talks about women, stares at women, flirts with women, likes borderline pornographic pictures on social media, and has this all-around charm about him that seems to attract all the ladies – is one you better stay away from. They may be cute, they may be charming, and they may make you feel good – but he is a player. I promise you. Every little cute thing he is saying to you, he is saying to 45 other girls no matter what BS excuse he feeds you. BE SMART! Find a man, who might be a little shy, does not shower you with compliments, isn’t a total pig, and isn’t trying to get laid by every girl he comes across - because those are the men you marry. The ‘cool’, ‘charming’, ‘hot’, guys that are everywhere, are usually pretty bad news. Look for a genuine man – charm is always deceptive don’t forget that.
Ultimately, not all that glitters is gold. Be smart and take the time to really analyze the men you are allowing into your life. There are plenty of good guys out there, but many bad ones as well. Do not settle for less than you deserve, do not be naïve, and if you ever get the intuition to walk away, you’re probably right. And last but not least, stop looking for a man – the good man will find you.
