10 Reasons Why Patrick Star Should Be Our Next President | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

10 Reasons Why Patrick Star Should Be Our Next President

He has the power of Wumbo on his side!

686
10 Reasons Why Patrick Star Should Be Our Next President
imgur

With the national party conventions just around the corner, it's imperative that we choose a candidate who will make our country great once again. We need a candidate that we can trust and rally around for the general elections in November. That candidate exists and is ready to take our nation back and make it wonderful. That candidate is Patrick Star. Here are a few reasons why you should cast your vote for this super starfish this election season.

1. He already has the perfect running mate.

As a team, these two are unstoppable. The Star-Squarepants ticket will be breaking the ballot box come November. Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? The vice president of the United States!

2. He has the fundamental skills that a president needs.

Patrick Star has one of the greatest minds this generation has to offer. His numerous skills will help shape this country to be the best it's ever been. And he promises that every jar will have easily removable lids!

3. He will use technology to the nation's advantage.

In this day and age, voters know the importance of using technology to make the government more efficient in serving its citizens. Patrick Star will take advantage of today's technology to improve the lives of all the American people.

4. He promises to fight to keep Americans safe.

The issue that has been a major factor in debates is national security. Patrick Star has a foolproof plan to wipe out terrorism and keep the American people out of harm's way. Besides, pillows cost so much less than other military weaponry.

5. He heartily supports small business.

Small businesses are an essential component of healthy economic growth. Patrick Star has all the experience and dedication needed to make small business grow in the United States. That one day of selling sketchy chocolate bars has definitely equipped him for the presidency.

6. He has a truly inspirational campaign slogan.

Issues and policies are important, but a campaign slogan concisely captures what a candidate stands for. Patrick Star has managed to craft a meaningful slogan that resonates with people on a personal level. Nobody will dare to question who he is again!

7. He will serve the American people.

America not only needs a strong leader, but it needs a willing servant. Patrick Star is eager to serve the American people to the best of his ability and will kindly offer to take the hat of every citizen.

8. He has plenty of charisma.

Let's face it. People want a president who can turn on the charm. Most people will deny that they are drawn to a candidate because of his or her charisma, but almost none of us can resist good old fashioned charm. Just look at that face. How could you not vote for Patrick? Just don't ask Donald Trump that question.

9. He is a natural problem solver.

Patrick Star will use every ounce of his problem solving skills once he is in office. Common sense solutions combined with stunning intellect knows no bounds. Patrick will eliminate America's most pressing domestic and foreign troubles.

10. Finally, Patrick Star will resolve, once and for all, the issue weighing on every American's mind: immigration.

With so many people incessantly discussing this controversial topic, we must select a president who will deal justly, yet effectively, with this issue. Patrick Star will make sure that illegal immigration is shut down while providing ways to let in people who truly want a better life here. He just wants everyone to have their ice cream and eat it, too!

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

A Few Thoughts Every College Freshman Has

The transition into adulthood is never easy

20649
Mays Island
Courtney Jones

Today I started my third week of college at Minnesota State Moorhead. I have survived welcome week, finding my classes on the first day, and being an awkward loner in the dining hall. Even though I have yet to be here for a month, I have already experienced many thoughts and problems that only a new college student can relate to.

Keep Reading...Show less
Students walking on a sunny college campus with trees and buildings.

"Make sure to get involved when you're in college!"

We've all heard some variation of this phrase, whether it came from parents, other family members, friends, RAs, or college-related articles. And, like many clichés, it's true for the most part. Getting involved during your college years can help you make friends, build your resume, and feel connected to your campus. However, these commitments can get stressful if you're dealing with personal issues, need to work, or aren't sure how to balance classes and everything else going on during the semester.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

9 Reasons Why Friends Are Essential In College

College without friends is like peanut butter without jelly.

8704
Bridgaline Liberati and friends
Bridgaline Liberati

In college, one of the essential things to have is friends. Yes, textbooks, a laptop, and other school supplies are important but friends are essential. Friends are that support system everybody needs. The more friends you have the better the support system you have. But you also have someone to share experiences with. And don’t settle for just one or two friends because 8 out of 10 times they are busy and you are studying all alone. Or they have other friend groups that do not include you. Don’t settle for just one or two friends; make as many friends as you can. After the first couple of weeks of college, most friend groups are set and you may be without friends.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

The Power of Dressing Up

Why it pays to leave the hoodie at home.

6299
sneakers and heels
Sister | Brother Style - Word Press

For a moment your world is spinning. The phone alarm has just scared you awake and you’re flooded by daunting thoughts of the day ahead. You have three assignments due and little time to work on them because of your job. You’re running late because you’ve hit snooze one to many times after yesterday’s long hours. You dizzily reach for a hoodie, craving its comfort, and rush for a speedy exit, praying you will have time to pick up coffee. Does this sound familiar?

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

11 Signs You Live At The Library As Told by 'Parks And Recreation'

A few signs that you may live in the library whether you'd like to admit it or not.

5435
brown wooden book shelves with books

Finals week is upon us. It is a magical time of year during which college students everywhere flock to the library in attempt to learn a semester's worth of knowledge in only a week. For some students, it's their first time in the library all semester, maybe ever. Others have slaved away many nights under the fluorescent lights, and are slightly annoyed to find their study space being invaded by amateurs. While these newbies wander aimlessly around the first floor, hopelessly trying to find a table, the OGs of the library are already on the third floor long tables deep into their studies. Here is a few signs that you may live in the library, whether you'd like to admit it or not.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments