So I'm a vegan. And before y'all start heeing and hawing, hear me out. I'm not that vegan who will scream it for everyone around me to hear. I'm not that vegan who won't let there be meat in my presence. I'm not that vegan who eats grass all day. I love food. I have an unhealthy relationship with food, and food should probably get a restraining order taken out against me. I love when food is in my belly (it's name is Timmy), and when it's not in Timmy, I think about how I can change that. But being a vegan is hard. And sometimes you gotta cheat.

1. Because when you're a vegan, you literally spend all of your time hungry

Food is beautiful thing, but without meat there to fill you up, it's hard to get that same satisfied feeling after a meal. Without that same heartiness, a lot more food is needed to make your stomach happy and full. Snacking is literally life. I firmly stand behind oranges, cap'n crunch, and skittles.

2. Because vegan substitutes can be kinda nasty

I love me my tofu, but some people are C R A Z Y with all of these vegan options. It can be kinda sacrilegious. Some things just shouldn't be messed with. This world does not need vegan ham or "Magic Vegan Bacon Grease." I'm also for variety and trying new things, but this madness needs to stop.

3. Because making (good) vegan food can be hard

Technically this applies when trying to make food in general, but it has a meta-effect with vegan dishes. It can be so disheartening to try to make something and having the final product be closer to a combination of soil, toothpaste, and wet cat food (and as a cheating vegan, you can always just order a pizza later).

4. Because I'm sick and tired of tofu, fruits, and veggies

I can eat my way through any orchard or garden patch. Put a bag of carrots in front of me and they'll be gone before you turn around. Call me a rabbit, call me healthy, but I'm eating this because I can't or don't want to eat anything else. And don't get me wrong - I love tofu (shoutout to burritos and stir fry!) and fruits and veggies, but I need some diversity in my life. And sometimes this diversity comes through the form of food with eggs or cheese.

5. Because sometimes I just like to eat whatever I want

Sometimes I just want to eat and not worry about what I'm eating. I don't always want to check the ingredient list for animal products. I want to be able to shove food in my mouth and be in a blissful state of euphoria as I sink into a food coma. Food belongs in bellies. Specifically my belly. Right now.

6. Because cravings are a real thing

You don't need to be on your period or pregnant to have cravings. I am hungry. I have a craving. I need that craving in my belly and out of my head. Trying to coordinate cravings with veganism is a struggle. I'm not always in the mood for a cucumber or an oreo (yes! they're vegan!). Just like you shouldn't try to tame a bear, you shouldn't try to tame your cravings.

7. Because hunger has a clock of its own

When my stomach sounds the alarm (we all know that feeling), I need food. It's like having to go pee really badly- you have a certain amount of time before something bad happens. And hunger anger (hangry) is a forced to be reckoned with.

8. Because I'm lazy

Laziness is a beautiful thing. I love being lazy. But when trying to figure out if the food I want to put in my mouth follows vegan rules, it directly counteracts my laziness, my moral fiber. Everyone should approach every situation trying to be as lazy as they can be. Sometimes I want to eat something. Correction: I always want to eat something. But do I always want to check if the vegan police will allow me to eat it? Hell-to-the-no.

9. Because I. LOVE. FOOD.

When you love something, you can't judge it. My love for food is pure and unadulterated. Food is food, no matter what. Not all foods are created equal, but my love for food is the highest form. I might like certain foods over others, but food is my true love.

10. Because food just wants to be loved

Why y'all gotta hate? Can't you see that food is an insecure middle-schooler just wanting to be loved? Some people refuse to see food as it is, judging it on its presentation and creativity. You are not a judge on the food network and no one cares that your mama cooks it better. Everyone's mama cooks it better. Food just wants to be loved. C'mon, food, come on home to mama.