To all those with a peanut allergy: I'm sorry.
1. The convenience of a house plant, but you can eat it.
Who needs a fern you keep you company when you could have a jar of peanut butter waiting for you.
2. Peanut butter never disappoints.
Unless you go for the weird natural kind. I can't help you there. Boyfriends forget anniversaries, but peanut butter is there for you on every occasion.
3. You can take it anywhere.
Wedding? Sure. Birthday party? Why not. They even make PB to-go.
4. There are two options with equal satisfaction.
Creamy or crunchy? You decide.
5. You pick the size of the joyful deliciousness.
Tell me how you like your peanut butter.
6. Peanut butter can't talk back.
It's peanut butter. Why would it?
7. Breakfast, lunch, dinner.
All the time. Anytime.
8. Takes up less space and sleeps in the kitchen.
You can have the bed to yourself...unless maybe you want a midnight snack. No need to divide closet space or give them a drawer.
9. Knows exactly what to say.
Nothing at all. No words, just peanut butter.
10. Your cat likes peanut butter, too.
And your cat doesn't like anyone/anything.