I thought I had it all figured out. I thought that I met the man of my dreams. Someone who completed me in every way. Until I realized I didn't. Then I met you and I learned what it was like to breathe again. So here's a list of thank-yous that I hope one day I can say to your face:
Thank you for being patient with me.
I've been out of the game for a while. I forgot how to open up and let someone in. I came up with every excuse to not hang out because I was nervous. Even though I was single I still felt like I was doing something wrong. Every now and then I still feel that way.
Thank you for taking things slow.
You saw my discomfort and did everything in your power to let me know I was OK. You let me take my time and told me to work at my own pace. It was in that moment I knew I was safe.
Thank you for making me feel beautiful.
I couldn't tell you the last time I felt this way. The last time I could stand in the mirror for days and no hate something about myself. I don't squeeze the extra skin on my stomach or legs anymore. I don't sit there looking at all the imperfections because I don't see them anymore. I can stand in the mirror naked and smile at myself.
Thank you for letting me find myself.
You don't break down my walls, you let me do that. I've been on a journey to find myself and instead of trying to help me, you simply just hold my hand. You see when I'm struggling and you take me in, let me regroup and push me back into the world.
Thank you for forgiving me when I don't always deserve it.
I'll admit, I know this can be a bit of a challenge for you. Some days I snap at you and take my anger out when its not your fault I'm mad. I say stupid things that I shouldn't as a defense mechanism. Yet here you are. I swear I'm working on fixing that part of me.
Thank you for letting me be exactly who I am.
Trust me, I know that I'm no peach to deal with all the time. I'm stubborn and sarcastic. Crazy yet also very tame. Flirtatious but shy. You smile and call me a psycho or put me in my place when I'm a bitch. But you accept me and let me be who I am. You don't know how happy that makes me.
Thank you for letting me feel safe.
I've shared with you parts of my past that made it so I have a hard time trusting people. I was worried you would just sweep it under the rug and forget about it. But you remember, and you let me know you're trying to make me trust you More and more I do, I let you in on more than just an emotional level I let you learn all of me because you've let me see that I can trust you.
Thank you for all of our jokes.
I teased you the first time we talked. And the second time... and every time after that to be honest. You didn't hold back. You put me in my place without crossing the line. You let us have both a joking and a serious side. I never let you see how much the short jokes make me smile, but trust me, they make me smile.
Thank you for being a reason behind my smile.
I forgot how badly your face hurts from smiling so much. I forgot what I look like when I'm fully smiling. But here I am remembering it all. Smiling ear to ear falling in love with life again.
Thank you for letting me breathe again. I forgot what the flowers smelled like.
I forgot what the earth felt like under my feet. You came to me as a friend and by accident, you turned out to be so much more.
I'm falling in love with life. I'm falling in love with myself. And here you are watching me, holding my hand, and letting me. You came at the perfect time, never making me feel hard to love. You're not perfect, I'm not perfect. But it's those imperfections, the things that drive me insane that make me know how much I care about you.
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sunrise
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