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10 Reasons I'll Make A Terrible Wife Someday

Does it help if I promise to laugh at all your jokes?

Carli Henrotay

Apr 11, 2017

Saint Louis University

10 Reasons I'll Make A Terrible Wife Someday

Carli Henrotay

Here’s my apology now, Mr. Husband….

1. I can’t cook to save my life

2. I hate when People steal my covers

2. Everything has a place & if it’s not in that place it’s lost

4. And I’ll automatically blame you when I can’t find it

5. My space is my space, please don’t mess it up

6. I hate sharing my bed

7. I hate making any sort of decision

8. Compromising usually isn’t my friend

9. I hate sharing my TV time

10. I'm really really bad at grocery shopping

I can’t promise to be a perfect stereotypical wife, but I do promise you this. I promise to be your best friend and partner in crime. I promise to love you till the end of time. I promise to always support you no matter what. And I promise to be the best me I can be.

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12 Midnight NYE: Fun Ideas!

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

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When the clock strikes twelve midnight on New Year's Eve, do you ever find yourself lost regarding what to do during that big moment? It's a very important moment. It is the first moment of the New Year, doesn't it seem like you should be doing something grand, something meaningful, something spontaneous? Sure, many decide to spend the moment on the lips of another, but what good is that? Take a look at these other suggestions on how to ring in the New Year that are much more spectacular and exciting than a simple little kiss.

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New year, new semester, not the same old thing. This semester will be a semester to redeem all the mistakes made in the previous five months.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

Let's face it, last semester you woke up with enough time to brush your teeth and get to class and even then you were about 10 minutes late and rollin' in with some pretty unfortunate bed head. This semester we will set our alarms, wake up with time to get ready, and get to class on time!

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The 5 Painfully True Stages Of Camping Out At The Library

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

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Photo by Seven Shooter on Unsplash

And so it begins.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

Camping out at the library is not for the faint of heart. You need to go in as a warrior. You usually have brought supplies (laptop, chargers, and textbooks) and sustenance (water, snacks, and blanket/sweatpants) since the battle will be for an undetermined length of time. Perhaps it is one assignment or perhaps it's four. You are motivated and prepared; you don’t doubt the assignment(s) will take time, but you know it couldn’t be that long.

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Recommended for you

10 Reasons I'll Make A Terrible Wife Someday

Does it help if I promise to laugh at all your jokes?

1. I can’t cook to save my life

2. I hate when People steal my covers

2. Everything has a place & if it’s not in that place it’s lost

4. And I’ll automatically blame you when I can’t find it

5. My space is my space, please don’t mess it up

6. I hate sharing my bed

7. I hate making any sort of decision

8. Compromising usually isn’t my friend

9. I hate sharing my TV time

10. I'm really really bad at grocery shopping

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Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

1. When he just wanted bacon from his George Foreman grill

2. When he had money (and Jan) issues

3. When he got upstaged at Phyllis' wedding

4. When he unintentionally saved Meredith from rabies

5. When he wore a "bisexual" suit

6. When he had to apologize to Jesus

7. When his GPS drove him into a lake

8. When he had to deal with Ryan as his boss

9. When he couldn't fulfill his most generous empty promise

10. When this happened

11. When he struggled with a X-Mas break up

12. When he had to defend his generosity

13. When he threw a classy Christmas party for Holly but she had a boyfriend

14. When he had to stand up to peer pressure

15. When Toby was "Toby-ish"

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"O Holy Night" by David Archuleta

"Believe" by Josh Groban

"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

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