As my first year of college comes to a close, I reflect on the person I was one year ago, finishing up my last year of high school, something I thought would never end. Those four years saw me at the lowest point of my life, two new schools, one new town, three backpacks, two laptops, and about 372 breakdowns in the girls’ bathroom. As a whole, the last word that comes to mind is fun. Now, with as little bitterness as possible, here’s just a few (of thousands) of reasons why high school sucks and I’m glad I never have to go back. (Spoiler alert: it’s still pretty bitter).

1. Fake people

Because for some reason you had to be friends with everyone in school even if you would never, ever talk to them outside of it.

2. People who “party”

And feeling excluded because you don’t.

3. Politics

Because you were only considered cool if you were in the right family, thought how those families became “right” you have no idea.

4. Prom/Homecoming Court

Let’s see how many people like me… Looks like it’s nobody.

5. Class superlatives

Because if you’re not “Most Attractive” you’re least attractive…I’m glad I learned that as a vulnerable teenage so I didn’t kid myself for the rest of my life.

6. Yearbooks

Because for some reason, we all judged our value based on how much we were in the yearbook. My freshman year count: 3. On the bright side, it could only go up from there.

7. Drama

If you block me on Twitter, I know you’re subtweeting me. Also, don’t say sorry when you’re clearly not sorry. By senior year, I stopped accepting apologies altogether.

8. Jealousy

And caring that people liked someone else more than me/thought they were prettier than me.

9. Caring what others think

I didn’t realize until college that there was not one point in my high school career I could remember being completely genuine and comfortable with who I was, because I was constantly trying to be what I thought others would like.

10. Distancing myself

Though it was probably smart in some regards, I never let myself get attached to people in high school. Even my closest friends did not know all that much about me and I did not spend anywhere near as much time with as I should. I didn’t give them the friendship they deserved because I was scared to trust people and didn’t know how to be myself. Even now, it takes a lot of time and courage for me to reach out to them and make plans with them because I know I have not been the friend I should have and that I’ve missed my chance now that we’re in different places at different schools and know each other less than we had in high school.

High school was, by far, the least enjoyable time I’ve yet experienced and high school made me a person that, looking back now, was not all that likeable and someone that thankfully is behind me now. That person harbored a lot of things that distracted and kept her from her own happiness. Coming out of it, and coming into the glorious world of college, I just want to say to current high schoolers: Seniors, get excited, your time is coming; juniors, get those college applications in because the light at the end of the tunnel is near; sophomores, keep working hard, doing the things you like, and don’t compare yourself to others, they won’t matter but you always will; freshman, don’t be scared! I know I’ve said a lot of things about how bad high school is, but it can be fun, too—you just have to let it. Do what you love, not what you think you should love; have friends that you like, not that you think you should like; and be who you are, not who you think you should be.