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10 Realistic Thoughts About New Years Resolutions

Making a New Year's resolution is easy, committing to one is a whole other story.

Emily Allison

Dec 12, 2016

The Storytelling Club

10 Realistic Thoughts About New Years Resolutions

We Know Your Dreams

With less than a month until the new year *THANK GOD* I thought it was time to get working on some ideas for New Year's Resolutions. I never like to come up with resolutions because some challenges need more than just a year to figure out, but maybe it's time for some "new year, new me" nonsense. Take a look at my ideas, and write in the comments if you have any resolutions you think I should add.

1. Join a gym with the hopes of exercising...only to never go and bitch about my gym membership over a bottle of cab.

image via GIPHY, https://media.giphy.com/media/69kj3di8KQp5C/giphy.gif

2. Attempt to date...only to discover I actually can’t stand other people and revert back to being single forever.

image via Favim, http://s3.favim.com/orig/44/hate-lol-people-poisoning-Favim.com-375101.gif

3. Drink less alcohol...only to quit after 10 minutes because wine is sooo ~healthy~.

image via Winemind, http://www.winemind.com/15-funny-wine-gifs-memes/

4. Join a spin class...only to decided that I don’t want to punish my vagina anymore.

image via Bicycling, http://www.bicycling.com/training/beginners/30-thoughts-every-cyclist-has-during-spin-class

5. Clean out my closet and get rid of clothing I don’t wear anymore...only to remember I never have anything to wear so I can’t get rid of thing.

image via NYP Decider, https://nypdecider.files.wordpress.com/2015/07/clueless-cher-gif.gif

6. Spend less time on my phone...only to get bored without constantly bugging my friends.

image via GIPHY, https://media.giphy.com/media/TFMoOxjnAAMbm/giphy.gif

7. Save money for retirement...only to...well this is actually a good idea.

image via Best Animations, http://bestanimations.com/Money/money-animated-gif-9.gif

8. Learn to cook more challenging meals...only to give up because I am impatient and order some takeout.

image via tumblr, https://67.media.tumblr.com/6587a382f1b0e5a7d495d8bd4fc55fcd/tumblr_njax7zRQFH1sakzt7o1_500.gif

9. Watch less trash tv...just gtfo with that idea.

image via GIF Wave, http://www.gifwave.com/media/505248_tv-real-housewives-reality-tv-drinking-reality.gif

10. Laugh more...because why the hell not.

image via Make a GIF, https://i.makeagif.com/media/5-18-2015/br8R2H.gif

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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10 Realistic Thoughts About New Years Resolutions

Making a New Year's resolution is easy, committing to one is a whole other story.

1. Join a gym with the hopes of exercising...only to never go and bitch about my gym membership over a bottle of cab.

2. Attempt to date...only to discover I actually can’t stand other people and revert back to being single forever.

3. Drink less alcohol...only to quit after 10 minutes because wine is sooo ~healthy~.

4. Join a spin class...only to decided that I don’t want to punish my vagina anymore.

5. Clean out my closet and get rid of clothing I don’t wear anymore...only to remember I never have anything to wear so I can’t get rid of thing.

6. Spend less time on my phone...only to get bored without constantly bugging my friends.

7. Save money for retirement...only to...well this is actually a good idea.

8. Learn to cook more challenging meals...only to give up because I am impatient and order some takeout.

9. Watch less trash tv...just gtfo with that idea.

10. Laugh more...because why the hell not.

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AKA, Christmas overload.

I'm technically an adult, so I'm legally required to live a little, right?

1. Watch an R-rated Scary Movie in a Movie Theater

2. Buy a Lottery Ticket

3. Vote in an Election

4. Participate in a Run (or a Walk, Realistically) for Charity

5. Go on a Road Trip

6. Start a Savings Account

7. Get a Credit Card

8. Sign up for Spotify Premium

9. Go to a Club

10. Start a Meditation Routine

11. Go to a Yoga Class

12. Treat Myself to a Dinner for One

13. Volunteer for a Charity

14. Participate in a Research Study

15. Bake Something (That Ends Up Being Edible)

16. Go Skydiving

17. Be Called for Jury Duty

18. Figure Out What I Want to Do With my Life

The holiday classics that shaped my life

1."But what would happen if we all tried to be like Santa and learned to give as only he can give: of ourselves, our talents, our love and our hearts? Maybe we could all learn Santa's beautiful lesson and maybe there would finally be peace on Earth and good will toward men."

"Sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can't see."

"If you won't use your heart, who cares if it gets broken? If you just keep it to yourself, maybe it'll be like my rollerblades. When you do decide to try it, it won't be any good. You should take a chance. Got nothing to lose."

"Remember, no man is a failure who has friends."

"Life is made up of meetings and partings. That is the way of it."

"If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find a that love actually is all around."

"Sometimes things look good on paper, but lose their luster when you see how it affects real folks. I guess a healthy bottom line doesn't mean much if to get it, you have to hurt the ones you depend on."

"'Maybe Christmas,' he thought, 'doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.'"

"Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to."

"There's room for everyone on the nice list."

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

1. Why are towels considered dirty when you get out of the shower clean?

2. Who closes the bus door once the bus driver gets off?

3. Why is there a "d" in "fridge" but not in "refrigerator"?

4. If you drop soap on the floor is the floor clean or the soap dirty?

5. Is the "S" or the "C" silent in the word "scent"?

6. Does expecting the unexpected make the unexpected the expected?

7. Would Lightning McQueen buy car insurance or life insurance?

8. Who put the alphabet in alphabetical order?

9. What color are mirrors?

10. If 2 mind readers read each other's minds whose mind are they really reading?

11. Is there a synonym for "synonym"?

12. If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, are your pants tucked into your shirt?

13. Why is it called "quick sand" if you sink slowly in it?

14. If I try to fail, but succeed, which one did I do?

15. If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off?

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