I grew up in the Northern California town of Yuba City. Never heard of it? That's okay. Most people haven't. But, if you - like me - grew up there, you might have a few questions for the town in general.
1. What would happen if the Parrot Guy ever injured his leg?
Our whole town would be left without the joy of seeing him skip down the road with his bird friends in tow.
2. Why does everything close at 8 o'clock?
Or earlier if it's a weekend. There are some of us who like being up late instead of up early.
3. Who thought it would be a good idea to build a city on a crow migration path?
I mean, we know Christmas is coming by the sheer number of crows, but really? Why would we want to add dealing with crow poo to the stress of Christmas shopping? It looks like a scene from "The Birds."
4. Why is there that one random roundabout in the middle of a neighborhood?
I mean, the one at the end of Stabler caused enough hubbub, but did some contractor decide "You know what would be fun? Let's put ANOTHER roundabout in the middle of a residential neighborhood! Just for kicks and giggles!"
5. Why does Stabler randomly change to Walton right in the middle?
I mean, talk about being confusing for new drivers. "Yeah, go down Stabler for a little while, then turn right off of Walton and my house is on the left." "Wait...how did I get to Walton?" "It's Stabler..."
6. Why is there no speed limit posted on that road behind Kohl's and the bowling alley?
It's behind some apartments, so maybe it should be 25. But, it's also by a bunch of warehouses, so maybe it's 35. Or maybe I can come up with some bogus excuse as to why is should be 75.
8. Why are there a bunch of RV's in that field that the mystery guy used to decorate?
I loved seeing all the different scenes he could come up with, but now there's a tiny scene and a bunch of RV's. It's kind of depressing...
9. Why is there a Starbucks on every corner?
It's not like we're very big. But, there are Starbucks EVERYWHERE. Do people just make the rounds? Are they just a regular at each different Starbucks? I don't understand. AND WHY IS THERE NO DUTCH BROS?!?
10. Last, but definitely not least, WHAT'S WITH ALL THE CHICKENS??
I get that somehow they've become a "Yuba City landmark" (we all learned this when that one woman tried to relocate them to a safer location that the side of the highway a few years ago), but it's kind of terrifying when all you want is your pancakes from IHOP, and you have to be concerned that a chicken might jump out of a tree at you. (Don't laugh, it's happened).
