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10 Questions To Ask A New Friend

For those of us who are straight-up exhausted of small talk-- let's mix it up a little.

Molly Bebko

Mar 05, 2020

Bowling Green State University

132

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Conversation is really, really important to me. Think about it--what a special gift that we have, just to know someone and be blessed by their thoughts and jokes and stories. But what if you don't know how to start? Quite often when we meet someone new, we can't figure out what to say and the discussion fizzles out before it even starts. Read below for some ideas on how to get to know someone better, faster.

What's the color of your soul today?

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In other words, what is your emotional state? What has been occupying your thoughts, and what color do you associate with the feelings you have?

If you could replace the main actor or actress from any film with Mike Wazowski from Monsters Inc., who would you choose?

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I love hearing the goofy answers to this. My go-to is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson from San Andreas.

What is something that happened today that made you happy?

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This question goes beyond "how was your day." It introduces an opportunity to reflect and be mindful of what is important to a person and how this life has moments of such beauty.

What did you get in trouble for when you were a kid? P.S. Do you still get in trouble for it?

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It always makes me giggle when I hear a full-grown adult reminiscing about lying to their parents that they didn't feed their veggies to the family dog as a child.

What do you think is the most fundamental human desire?

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Be careful with this one-- it gets real deep, real fast. What I've found is when people answer this question, it also gives you insight into how they live their lives. For example, I think catharsis is the most fundamental human desire (Inception, anyone?). I spend a lot of my time solving problems and I'm studying a health science so that I can provide rest and peace for people. Makes sense, right?

What is your most favorite time of day?

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Some people say mornings, or nighttimes. Others say a specific few minutes each day when they wake up with their family, or see a significant other. What a sweet way to celebrate people's personalities!

If you only had 90 seconds to go to the grocery store, what would you get?

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This is how to find out if someone is a health nut or a vegan or a pretzel fiend or a picky eater. I'd choose cereal and bell peppers.

What song have you been listening to on repeat lately?

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Great segue into talking about what music you love listening to. Of course, everyone has an opinion about country. Ask them! Ask why! Celebrate your differences!

What is your most precious human relationship?

Is it a significant other/spouse? A family member? A roommate or friend? A coworker? A child? The possibilities are endless. This question is so fruitful for developing shared empathy. Almost everyone has someone they love, someone they let their guard down with, someone to tackle life with.

Do you want to grab coffee sometime?

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Friends love coffee days! Eating or drinking together in a casual place can be so fun.

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10 Questions To Ask A New Friend

For those of us who are straight-up exhausted of small talk-- let's mix it up a little.

In This Article:

What's the color of your soul today?

If you could replace the main actor or actress from any film with Mike Wazowski from Monsters Inc., who would you choose?

What is something that happened today that made you happy?

What did you get in trouble for when you were a kid? P.S. Do you still get in trouble for it?

What do you think is the most fundamental human desire?

What is your most favorite time of day?

If you only had 90 seconds to go to the grocery store, what would you get?

What song have you been listening to on repeat lately?

What is your most precious human relationship?

Do you want to grab coffee sometime?

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There are plenty of obstacles that come when taking care of kids, but it's a very rewarding experience.

1. You get excited when the parents purchase season passes to the pool.

2. You've become friends with the stay-at-home moms in town.

3. You get a chance to eat "kid foods" again.

4. You've traded in your cute purse for a large tote bag.

5. You have at least one car seat in your backseat.

6. Their nap time is your happy time.

7. Lunch time can be a disaster.

8. You have to play the same board games repeatedly.

9. You catch yourself using the same lines your parents once told you.

10. Your "mom-mode" kicks in at times.

11. Your heart melts a little when they do something cute.

You'll never find any souvenirs with your name on it

1. You know you are up next when the teacher pauses while taking attendance

2. When “I’m going to do my very best to make sure I know all your names” is said, it may or may be an empty promise

3. “Wow! That sounds so cool! Where is your family from?”

4. You dread when people ask you to repeat your name over and over because it “sounds so cool when you say it”

5. There’s a 50/50 chance that your name will come back either correct or incorrect at Starbucks

6. People try to find shorter, easier nicknames for you instead of calling you by your actual name

7. When someone famous or fictional character shares your name, you get so happy

8. “What’s your name?” “It’s [name]” “I’m sorry, what was it again?”

9. You’ve pretty much seen every misspelling and heard every mispronunciation of your name throughout your life

10. When you find another person with an “ethnic” sounding name, you both get excited

11. Despite the struggles, your name is pretty unique… just like you

Can I be excused for the rest of my life?

Don't Be That Person

1. “Oh, so you/your family are immigrants!”

2. “Is Puerto Rico near Mexico?”

3. “Do you speak Puerto Rican?”

4. “You look too light/dark to be Puerto Rican.”

5. “Do I need my passport to go to Puerto Rico?”

6. “Geez, you are obsessed with your flag. We get it, you’re Puerto Rican.”

7. “Why are you so loud?”

8. “So does your family know English?”

9. “Oh my god, Puerto Ricans are so spicy.”

10. “So did you eat a lot of tacos?”

11. “Are you Mexican?”

Love hard, every day, and never be ashamed.

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