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10 Questions Texan Tourists Ask in California

Mar 23, 2015

Everyone from California thinks they're just about the coolest person in the world. There's nothing they love more than raving about In-n-Out, organic food or the heated “NorCal vs. SoCal" debate. Those of us (a.k.a. me) who grew up in Texas and have never been to California think the Californians need to get over themselves because like, really, how cool could your state be? I get it, you have the ocean and Hollywood and Banzai Bowls, but I'm content in the land of pick-up trucks and 6th Street and Whataburger. Being from Austin, I never really believed that California would be that different from where I was raised. At least, I felt that way until I actually went to California. After spending a spring break in the sunshine with my friends who were also exploring the Golden State for the first time, I have to admit that we all kind of bought into the hype. Of course, as tourists in a state that was way too cool for us, we had to ask the obligatory questions and make a list of the most noteworthy ones:

1. Where's Lauren Conrad? I thought this was "Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County." We HAVE to find her and ask her opinion about Heidi and Spencer on “Divorce Court."

2. Is that person a hipster or just homeless? Are they barefoot to be trendy or because they don't own shoes? I'm not sure whether I should offer them money or ask for their autograph.

3. Is this the beach they show on the TVs in Hollister?

4. Why does everyone keep saying “kickin' it"? Like, instead of “hang out," California kids invite each other over to “kick it." Kick what? What are we kicking? Each other?

5. Oh, you're aspiring to be an actor? Is that why you moved to LA? What a coincidence! Same with that guy over there, and that guy, and that girl. I'm sure you'll all be famous very soon.

6. What is with the traffic here? I thought drivers in Texas were bad until I saw LA. Everyone cuts you off, no one lets you switch lanes, and NO ONE does the Texas friendly driver “thank you" wave when you let them into your lane in 5 o'clock traffic.

7. If I take a selfie right now will people know we're tourists?

8. OMG is that Katy Perry? Okay, be cool. Celebrities are just like the rest of us. Stay calm. Wait, no. Not Katy Perry. Actually, I think that's a man. Hmm. I'm gonna take a Snapchat anyway just in case.

9. Why are there palm trees literally everywhere? How is everything so pretty? The buildings, the beaches, the people – everything.

10. But seriously, why would you ever leave? If you're a California kid who went out of state for college, I'll never understand you.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Student Life

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1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

Let's face it, last semester you woke up with enough time to brush your teeth and get to class and even then you were about 10 minutes late and rollin' in with some pretty unfortunate bed head. This semester we will set our alarms, wake up with time to get ready, and get to class on time!

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And so it begins.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

Camping out at the library is not for the faint of heart. You need to go in as a warrior. You usually have brought supplies (laptop, chargers, and textbooks) and sustenance (water, snacks, and blanket/sweatpants) since the battle will be for an undetermined length of time. Perhaps it is one assignment or perhaps it's four. You are motivated and prepared; you don’t doubt the assignment(s) will take time, but you know it couldn’t be that long.

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10 Questions Texan Tourists Ask in California

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Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1. When it's December 1 and you have seven things due, three exams, and haven't slept in three days.

2. So you stress.

3. And cry.

4. Then call your mom to cry some more.

5. After the pep talk, you feel determined to get everything done.

6. But, now you're tired.

7. And really hungry.

8. Suddenly, it's 2 a.m. and you have only written three sentences and your paper is due in the morning.

9. You've made it to Friday... somehow.

10. Then Sunday hits and you find yourself back at the Lib.

11. So you cry some more.

12. But, you fight through the tears to get everything done because you're determined.

13. In the end, you feel on top of the world because you made it through the last week of class alive.

14. But, now it's finals week so good luck.

The ultimate list and gif guide to a college student's brain during finals.

What does the world outside the library look like?

Can I read this entire book tonight?

I should have gone to class more often.

Did the professor even teach this?

What is the lowest grade I can get on this exam and still pass the class?

Should I just drop out of school now?

Finals are ruining Christmas.

Just wrote three sentences so time for a break.

Need. More. Coffee.

What is sleep?

I'm too stupid for college.

Brain hurts.

Time for a Facebook Break.

I think I'm dying.

When will I ever need this information in the real world?

I can't read any of my notes.

I need my mom.

When was the last time I showered?

I need study snacks.

The struggle is so real right now.

"I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever else invented copy and paste. Thank you."

1. I'm so tired. I need a nap. Maybe I can sleep with my eyes open in class? Or pretend I'm not napping?

2. We have a test today? Why didn't anyone tell me? Did I know this?!

3. Can I quit school yet? It's only October, and I need a vacation.

4. The struggle is so real.

5. I'm so broke. SOS.

6. Stressed? Eat everything you own in your pantry and stuff your face with all your feelings.

7. "Did we have anything due in class today? Homework? Quiz? Test?" "Not that I know of..."

8. I need food. Where is the closest place to get food? I need it stat.

9. This is the longest day of my life. I need a drink, or two, or three.

10. Sleep? What is sleep? What a foreign concept.

11. When someone suggests going and studying in the library, let alone studying in general.

12. When the cafeteria or student center is packed and you can't find a seat anywhere so you literally have to sit in an abandoned corner.

13. When you see someone you used to hook up with. They see you, and approach you; so you have to pretend like everything is normal.

14. When you get your exam and realize you didn't study as much as you should have.

15. When you crush it on an exam or paper that you totally bullshitted.

16. I need a grande, extra strong coffee to get me through today.

17. When the professor announces you have a project due the following week with no instruction on what it's on and how to do it.

18. Is it Friday yet? Where's the weekend when you need it most?

19. It's freezing in here. I feel like I'm sitting in an igloo. I should have brought a jacket or worn long pants.

20. Did I remember my book? Damn, I forgot the book, and of course I need it for that quiz in class.

21. I would pay a million dollars to not go to class today; or actually never again.

22. I need a hoverboard to ride to class. Maybe then I wouldn't be running 15 minutes late to class every day.

23. Oh she/he's cute! I wonder if they're single. Who are they texting? They're BF/GF? I wonder if they think I'm cute. Could they be a potential new bae?

24. Why is there never any parking? I pay thousands of dollars a year for one parking spot to be open.

25. When it feels like you've been in class for an hour and you look at your phone and it has only been five minutes (I'm crying on the inside).

26. When the professor asks if there are any more questions at the end of class and someone raises their hand.

27. When you get assigned the most incompetent group of people possible for a group project.

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