Oh, Harry. My teen heartthrob crush I will never get over. From wearing skinny ties and belts to custom-made Gucci suits, things have changed. Including his style of music. We all (the 1D Fandom, I mean), learned of Harry's potential on "Clouds" and "Drag Me Down" but I don't think any of us were ready for "Kiwi". The lyrics being, "I'm having your baby/It's none of your business" I think we all just want to know what exactly that means. Did someone actually give birth to his child? Is it a metaphor for something bigger? There's certainly some conspiracies out there on the internet, but we will never know for sure. On November 8th, after a few days of promotion, Harry released the video for "Kiwi". I just... have some questions.
1. Who are these children?
On November 3rd, Harry posted the above picture on social media, instantly sprouting questions about what exactly this video would entail. Do these kids know how cool/amazing/heartthrob-y Harry is? I hope they appreciated this time with him. I'm not jealous, it's fine.
2. Why baked goods?
The video begins with a disclaimer, that no children or animals were harmed in the making of this video. Next, a girl is seen marching down an empty school hallway, carrying what seems to be a Tupperware full of cupcakes. Intriguing.
3. Did the custom Gucci suits need to be dry cleaned after?
If you're getting a custom-made Gucci suit (one, man-sized and another child-size), that's gotta be expensive. If there were icing and cake and who-knows-what thrown around, who footed the bill for the dry cleaning? Did they have to return the suits? I need answers.
4. What is everyone angry about?
The kids are seen yelling at each other in the gym as a mound of cake sits in between them. Seriously, what did I miss?
5. Where did the dogs come from?
Around the 2 minute mark, Harry appears in the doorway of the gym holding a labrador puppy. Cutest thing, ever? Yes. Where did the dogs come from? I need to know. Why are they there? Why are there so many? Help me, please.
6. Need more pictures of Harry + dogs.
That's it. It's not a question. It's a demand.
7. Has there been any other previous baked good fight?
Is this a typical monthly school day activity? It doesn't seem like it's their first time, honestly. Truly looks pretty brutal.
8. Where did the mound of cake come from?
Did Harry's bakery make all the food? Also, what a waste. Ugh.
9. Is everything just symbolism?
His ending smirk tells us both a lot and nothing at all. WHAT IS GOING ON.
10. Who had whose baby?
Please, just tell me. :/