Do you know why movies are so glorious? Do you know why actors are so idolized and so attractive? I one hundred percent guarantee you it is because we do not see them embarrassing themselves. Movies are so great because we get to see what life would be like minus the awkward exchanges that normally happen. If my life, for example, were to be a romantic comedy it would go like so...
(Interior. Night Club. Dalton approaches the love interest preparing to deliver the pickup line that is so epic it might even cause minor heart palpitations. It is that great.)
Her: "Hi there. What's your name?"
Me: (Sees how pretty she is. Forgets pickup line. Forgets name. Forgets how to everything) "Fine, how about yourself?"'
(End of encounter, end of movie, end of dating at all...ever.)
We can't all be smooth. So, for those who are sly operators or for those that simply want to hear from other people who share in your awkwardness and anxiety, please enjoy a glimpse at 10 obstacles awkward people must overcome.
1. You are often caught staring at attractive members of the opposite sex. You try to dodge eye contact and pretend you weren't just checking them out...BUT THEY KNOW!!!
...and instead of walking up and saying hello you wait 30 seconds and stare again.
2. You mess up introductions and greetings often
No matter how hard you try you still can't get the hang of it.
3. Your friends will hit it off with the opposite sex while you stand there and...just...exist
Most of the time you pretend to be on your phone, but we both know you aren't talking to anyone.
4. Speaking of phones, you retreat into your phone and appear busy to avoid feeling uncomfortable
Cell phones...the awkward person's lifeline.
5. You still don't know what the "dab" is, just like you weren't up to speed on "How to Dougie", this "Soulja Boy" fellow, and many other hip trends throughout most of your life.
6. When you don't know what is going on in the conversation and you are afraid to ask so you just sit there like...
Again, here is a good time to check that phone until the conversation merry-go-round makes another loop and you can finally jump back on.
7. Handshakes/high-fives/fist bumps never go as planned
Seacrest out...
8. You probably can't dance well either
Just go home and save yourself the embarrassment.
9. You lay awake at night and contemplate all the embarrassing moments in your life.
Chances are there are many memories that keep you up at night.
10. Silence in conversation scares you so you tend to say anything to drive the conversation forward. Also, what comes out of your mouth tends to surprise even you.
This is how you lose dates. Better off to try for the strong, silent type my friend.
