Admit it, we have all looked through the "People of Walmart" Facebook page and had a good laugh. But what happens when you become a "Person of Walmart....?" Here are the ten phases of walking through Walmart with PJs on.
1. The in-the-car pep talk.
Upon entering, your bestie has given you a good stern talk about how you owe no one anything in this establishment. You probably will never see any of them again.
2. Oh, no. They are staring.
Like, please mind your business, Patricia. Keep on scanning that soy almond milk hybrid combo.
3. Do you think they know that I own fashionable clothing?
I am going to wear my Gucci flip-flops next time I'm here just to show them that I've got #style.
4. "You said we were not going to see anyone we knew!!!"
There she was. I locked eyes with the one and only super glam professor at my school. She might be super glam but I am low key judging her for buying Sour Straws at 10 at night.
5. You're in the dressing room.
You're really considering buying that Faded Glory matching sweatsuit so you at least look a LITTLE put together.
6. One Lean Cuisine, Two Lean Cuisine, Red Lean Cuisine, Blue Lean Cuisine.
7. This phase is quite possibly the worst.
The shame is following you around with each longing look at your outfit. They probably think I'm a good for nothing college kid. They probably think I'm gonna steal something. I can sense them being uncomfortable that their kids see me acting a fool.
8. Wanting to hand out your extremely #lit resume with all your accomplishments.
To prove that you are indeed not a scum of the earth human being.
9. GET. IT. TOGETHER.
You've been here for 7 whole minutes and haven't even found the shower curtain you came here for. Buy the curtain and leave. BUY THE CURTAIN AND LEAVE!
10. *Swipes card* "Insert the chip we don't do the swipe"
*Inserts card* "Your card has been declined"
Oops, I forgot I spent my $87 paycheck on Forever 21 clothes. Wait, why did I wear pajamas again?