I met my boyfriend six months ago through a mutual friend. When we first met, I honestly didn't think it would go anywhere. He was three hours away in State College (yes, he goes to Penn State, you guessed it. Please do not revoke my Panther Card), and I was in Pittsburgh. Keep in mind, we had never met one another, so our relationship started out long distance. If you think it must have been weird, at least for me, you're correct on so many levels. I'm awkward and introverted, so I don't typically put myself out there, and he's quite the extrovert, even if he would never admit that on his own.
Anyway, I eventually went to visit him for my birthday weekend, which led to one visit after another, and here we are, six months later, and I love him with all my heart. Is long distance hard? Absolutely. Does it get in the way of our feelings for one another? Absolutely not. If you find yourself in a long distance relationship, and doubting it, or if the opportunity presents itself and you're hesitant, keep a couple things in mind:
1. You'll be as independent as ever.
Sure, you'll miss him/her. You'll wish you could be beside his/her side no matter the hour or season or holiday. It'll hurt to be alone, but you'll learn to accept the fact that, physically (as sad as this sounds), you are alone. You're going to sleep in an empty bed. You're going to eat alone sometimes, when you aren't with friends or family. And, an important part of a long distance relationship, I think, is that you learn it is okay to go about your day alone. Because you're only technically alone, you'll always have him/her in the back of your head, so you're not really alone in spirit.
2. The anticipation before seeing your significant other is intense.
First, you plan the trip. Then, you pack for the trip. Finally, you embark on your love journey and the following hour(s) of that trip are full of butterflies and thoughts about the week or weekend the two of you are spending together. It's a wonderful feeling to know you'll both be in the same city for at least a few days. Leaving will absolutely be painful, but the sadness is worth the time spent together.
3. Distance builds trust and confidence.
It's easy to take trust in a person for granted. I've found that, sometimes, couples who spend every second they possibly can together may lack the trust I've found in my long distance relationship. When you're apart more often then not, you learn to trust your man/lady because, if it's real, the distance won't matter in relation to his/her devotion to you. And in that, it's easier to feel confident in your love and in your own skin. You've got someone however many miles away who is just as lonely as you are, but he/she only thinks about your beautiful face when the mattress gets cold.
4. It makes a stronger couple.
This is not to say that couples who aren't long distance aren't strong, but when you've got to spend time counting down the days until the next time you see your person, it builds a sort of unique bond, I think. If you can make it through the long distance years of your relationship, I feel pretty confident in saying that your relationship can make it through anything. That's the point of love, though. You've got to be strong for one another, and long distance relationships teach you how to do just that.
5. You can wear the same over-sized t-shirt for an entire weekend, and they'll never know.
This is self-explanatory; you're feeling lazy and having a bad hair day, and even if you're comfortable enough with your partner to be this way in front of him/her, it's nice to leave appearances behind sometimes.
6. Small talk isn't typically a problem.
You don't see each other every second of the day, so communication is important, and you'll have so much to talk about. He'll tell you about the weird thing that happened in class, or she'll detail what she had for lunch. And although these topics seem mundane, they really aren't when you've been waiting for that afternoon phone call since seven in the morning. You'll literally have everything and anything to talk about. You'll impress yourself at how talkative you are, honestly.
7. And you fall in love with their voice.
I didn't even know this was possible until now. It's the equivalent to hearing a bone-chilling song, except instead of it being an unattainable celebrity, it's the love of your life, and you get to touch him/her eventually. Hearing the sound of that very familiar laugh, or just the sound of any simple syllable on his/her voice, becomes the lifeblood of your relationship.
8. By the way, you can tell how he/she feels just by his/her tone of voice.
How crazy is that? Something's wrong, and it's like you've developed superhero listening skills because you can just tell because of their tone of voice. That in itself is a benefit because it aids in communication (communication is key here if you haven't noticed, and you really learn how to do that in this type of relationship because distance and separation just call for it, friends).
9. Thinking about a future happens.
Future talks in relationships can be entirely too terrifying sometimes, but when your sweetheart is across the state, or in a totally different state, and you've come to the conclusion about your feelings for one another, it's easy to clearly see a future together. And it's nice, because you don't have to worry about the stress that might come along with embracing a single status or the stress of losing your lover. Plus, if both of you have goals, the thought of finally being together one day will only drive you to work harder toward those goals. Talking about building a future is just as productive as the making of that future itself; it breeds intimacy, and when you can do that in a long distance relationship, you are golden, babe.
10. You feel appreciated, and you appreciate.
When both parties in a long distance relationship realize how much they appreciate one another, it really just creates this beautiful feeling anytime you do get the chance to see the other person, both in person and over Skype. You think about life before them, and think of life with them, and you just know that you care about them, flaws and all, because you don't get to wake up beside them every morning. It's amazing to phsyically be together, to be in the same room, but it's truly a gift, each and every day, to have this amazing person who is willing to miss you even more than he/she loves you.
So, I guess the moral of the story is that long distance is hard but all kinds of worth it when you put the time and effort into it. Would it be easier to be attending the same university or something to that extent? Probably. But was anything worthwhile ever entirely easy?
