1. A Guy Without A Shirt
Actually, you'll encounter many of these types. Which in some (but very few) instances, is tolerable. But when their chest hair accidentally brushes against my arm while I'm dancing, it makes me feel relatively uncomfortable. And when I say relatively I mean completely.
2. A Girl Without A Shirt
I get that EDM music festivals are supposed to be all about super cool, carefree people coming together to enjoy music and stuff like that - but please at least wear more than one article of clothing whilst enjoying this music. It’s hard to focus on the wonderful performers when there’s nipples all over the place.
3. A Girl With Barely A Shirt
For this most part, this applies to almost every female at these sorts of festivals. Including me. Sorry Dad.
4. Someone With a Weird Mask Thing Covering Their Mouth
To be honest, I have no idea what this is all about. I’ve seen it multiple times, and each time it boggles my mind a little more. First of all, that can’t be comfortable. Second, it’s scary. You look like a villain from a Superhero movie. Please take it off.
5. An Undercover Cop
If you see a middle aged man standing a couple feet away from the crowd wearing a novelty t-shirt and a hawaiian lei, he is most likely a nark. He probably is nodding his head to the music every couple of minutes, clearly wishing he was filling out paperwork instead of watching a bunch of sweaty young adults jumping up and down to robot noises. Also if he asks you if you are “totally rolling face”... he is most definitely a nark.
6. Someone with Fuzzy Things on Their Legs
I don’t know who decided to start wearing medium-sized animals on their feet, but it’s rather entertaining to see, so I’m not complaining. It’s not everyday that you get to dance to great tunes with people resembling forest critters.
7. Someone with Fuzzy Things on Their Head
I guess Fuzz is really in lately, because it seems to be covering half of the people at EDM festivals everywhere. Not that I have anything against large quantities of people disguising themselves as creatures, but it can be a little overwhelming.
8. Old People
I have not one clue as to why these individuals decide to participate in these kind of music festivals. They tend to be sitting towards the back, probably on a blanket, and they will most definitely be looking like they are having the worst time of their lives. Sometimes they'll be in the crowd. If you can't find them, just look for the person who is standing still and rolling their eyes at any youngin' who accidentally bumps into them.
9. Someone Wearing an Eccentric Costume
This may seem strange to someone who hasn't been to one of these things before, but as you go along, you begin to realize that somehow electronic dance music and extremely odd outfit choices go hand in hand. Which I think is great, because why would a bunch of dudes dancing in penguin costumes not be great?
10. A Seemingly Normal Person
....nevermind
