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Politics

10 People I'd Rather Vote For Than Trump Or Clinton

...and animals and cartoon characters.

Andrea Alfano

Sep 19, 2016

College of Mount St. Vincent

10 People I'd Rather Vote For Than Trump Or Clinton

theshirtco.com

I keep forgetting, but the presidential election is actually coming up really soon. November 8th is less than two months away, and still most people I've talked to about the issue are undecided and mostly just complaining about how much they hate having to choose between the two candidates-myself very much included. I find my mind wandering a lot, thinking up much better scenarios than Trump v. Hilary. Here are my top choices.

10. Grace VanderWaal

She may be 12, but she just won America's Got Talent so she has her life together more than any of us. Plus, her songs and lyrics are soooo good. She definitely understands me better than the candidates do.

9. Michelle Obama

Honestly, where's our explanation for why Michelle isn't running for president? She's so fierce. I'd vote.

8. Marina Joyce

She managed to get the whole world's attention better than any politician has. And...and...I just really hate Trump and Clinton, okay.

7. The kid sitting next to me in class right now who just looked over my shoulder and told me to put him in the article.

6. Beyonce

I know this one is too ideal and too good to be true, but who says we can't have a Queen instead of a President? Slay.

5. Gary Johnson

We interrupt this broadcasting to give an actual serious candidate: on the real guys please vote Gary Johnson.

4. Remy from Ratatouille

He ran a whole gourmet French restaurant ON HIS OWN and he's only a rat. Imagine what he could do with this country. #Remy2016

3. My dog

Look at her. LOOK AT HER. IMAGINE THE STATE OF THE UNION.

2. Kanye West

If you're not totally down to vote Kanye 2020 and risk ruining our entire country in the name of comedy, we can't be friends.

1. Harambe

How many of the other candidates died for us? That's what I thought. He's also polling ahead of Jill Stein.

Votes out for Harambe.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Recommended for you

10 People I'd Rather Vote For Than Trump Or Clinton

...and animals and cartoon characters.

10. Grace VanderWaal

9. Michelle Obama

8. Marina Joyce

7. The kid sitting next to me in class right now who just looked over my shoulder and told me to put him in the article.

6. Beyonce

5. Gary Johnson

4. Remy from Ratatouille

3. My dog

2. Kanye West

1. Harambe

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Cs get degrees!

1. Me after every class

2. If you really care about your grades

3. When you get a new homework assignment

4. When people ask what you're going to do after college

5. When you see people who don't study and get good grades

6. We're all broke here

7. FREE FOOD IS FREE FOOD!

8. When it seems like everyone in class is smart - EXCEPT THE PEOPLE IN YOUR GROUP PROJECT!!

Other than knowledge and all those important things

How to take stairs.

Caffeine is your friend.

How to study.

Finding free food.

How to take a nap anywhere.

How to appreciate sleep.

How to procrastinate productively.

Surprise: This is not on the syllabus

1. As a freshman, one does get to be called “freshman” by upperclassmen when they walk to parties in a mob of people.

2. Some of the best stories happen after 2 a.m.

3. Upperclassmen live for meal swipes from freshman because they are poor and need free food.

4. People are struggling just as much as you are so you're not alone.

5. You will never take privacy or personal space for granted ever again.

6. You are not the only one who has slept on the community bathroom floor after a night out.

7. Skipping class for Netflix is a valid excuse.

8. It’s totally acceptable to bring a pot of coffee, a sleeping bag and a pillow to the library.

9. Having class with a friend is the best because you can trade off days on who goes to class.

10. When you are a senior, you take the easiest classes to boost your GPA.

11. How to pull an all-nighter.

12. How to handle drunk people.

13. The drunk you does not look out for sober you about 90 percent of the time.

14. How to deal with a hangover.

15. How to interact with people very different from you.

16. The perfect amount to procrastinate on every assignment.

17. How to pass a class without paying for the textbook that was "required."

18. How to calculate your grades to see what you need on every test in order to maintain a passing grade.

19. How to hook-up with someone without getting emotions involved (but we all know that doesn’t happen).

20. How to handle your roommate when you want to strangle them.

21. That you miss your parent’s every day.

22. How to get into a bar when you aren’t 21.

23. How to BS on assignments, out loud and on your resume.

24. That theme parties are the greatest.

25. How to find free events that have free food.

26. That when there are puppies on campus it will be the greatest day of your life.

27. Alarms are necessary and you must set like seven of them in order to wake up in time for class.

28. Greek parties are exactly how they are in movies.

29. Care packages are treated like Christmas presents.

30. The friends you meet in college will become your bridesmaids and groomsmen.

31. That printers only break when you need them the most.

32. Cereal, ramen noodles, Easy Mac and microwavable pancakes can be used for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

33. That classes before 8 a.m. should be illegal.

34. Changing your major is OK.

Don't let the thesaurus-inspired vocabularies in our résumés fool you. We're actually just big kids.

"You should know exactly what career is right for your future by the time you're 18."

"Save all your money."

"Get plenty of sleep and adjust to a regular sleep schedule."

"Make sure to eat healthy, balanced meals. Don't forget those fruits and vegetables."

"Surround yourself with good, moral people."

"Don't do anything stupid."

Seriously, who wouldn't love pizza?

Pizza is like a BFF

It can be delivered right to your door!

You can eat it at any time of the day

It's there for you after a breakup

It's the best party food

Celebrities love it too

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