What makes long distance relationships work (or not work), and why are they worth it? Being in a long distance relationship myself for more than three years now, I had my own ideas, but I was curious about other people's experiences, so I asked some friends to weigh in.

After reading their responses, I'm reminded that we all have so much in common, and we all have so much to learn from each other.

You can find the first installment here, and below you can learn what these 11 had to say:

Nathan

We've been together for 3 years and 3 months. We met on Super Bowl Sunday of 2013, and she was an exchange student in Briar Cliff. I saw her and thought she looked incredible, so I stayed in the cafeteria after I was done eating to see her more. (Turns out, she couldn't distinguish white people's faces yet, so later she still had no idea who I was.)

We somehow got into long distance because she had to go back to Korea after her 1 year of foreign exchange time was up, and we had been dating for about 7 months at the time. The most challenging part, which honestly still is even after long distance, is communication. People always talk about communication being the key to success, and I agree completely, but man...throw two languages into the mix, and THEN talk about communication...whew. It was tough because we had SO many misunderstandings and I would get so angry if she'd say something that seemed offensive, even though she obviously didn't mean it that way.

The most rewarding part of long distance, for me, was when it finally finished. We had survived hell, as far as I was concerned. We finished long distance when I found a job and flew over to Korea and started teaching English here. We've been together in Korea for about 2 years now.

Bree

I'd been in 2 long distance relationships when I was younger. To me at the time it was my only option because I didn't really have friends in real life and my social life was all based online.

At the time I was running a band page on Facebook with a few other people, including this girl Autumn who created the page, before I was asked to be admin. I had a huge crush on this girl. She made me feel really tingly on the inside and I couldn't explain why. After talking for a few weeks I realized that I had a crush on this girl, so I planned out a way to ask her out.

I was taking shop class at the time so I made a heart out of wood and painted it and wrote out on it, "Will you be my girlfriend?" and sent her a picture of it, and lucky me she said yes! I live in South Jersey, she lived in upstate NY. We were together for about 6 months. It was hard but I knew it was worth it, because even though I never met this girl, I felt as if we knew each other better than people in our offline lives. I knew it was worth it because I loved her.

The most challenging part was always being scared that there was someone else, or that she wasn't real, even though I had endless proof that she was (I had been in a similar situation with a guy before who ended up being my friends pulling a joke on me, and it really messed me up). I was always nervous that she would leave me for someone she could see every day, but it got easier as the months went by and we got serious, because I knew she'd never do that to me, and she never did.

The most rewarding part was knowing that someone loved me for who I was and not what I looked like or what I could do for them. She fell in love with my words, not my body. It left me realizing that LDRs aren't always bad, and even though they're stressful and time-consuming, sometimes they can be the best relationship you have, because they aren't emotionally shallow. In my experience LDRs have deep feelings that show that someone really can fall in love with your personality. It gave me hope that not all people are only concerned about the physical aspects of relationships.

Kortney

I had been in the long distance relationship for a year and a half! We actually met online. He was my best friend, and I fell for him pretty hard. He asked me out one day and I just said yes. Because he made me happy - it didn't matter that he was far away. I stayed with him because there wasn't any other way. If I wanted him, I had to bite that bullet and stay.
The most challenging part was the fact we were never able to see each other. We were able to skype on occasion (this was before we all had smartphones with FaceTime and Skype installed). He struggled with the lack of physical contact (cuddles and such). It eventually got to the point where the relationship ended.
The most rewarding part was having my boyfriend. I might not have been able to curl up in his arms when I was sad, but I was able to still go to him.
Even though that relationship didn't work out, it showed me that I don't need all the physical contact stuff to maintain a relationship all the time. All I need is constant communication and ability to see my person every so often to keep it up.

The relationship I'm in right now will turn long distance when I come back to BCU!

Anna

Peter and I have been together for 1 year and 2 months. We met at Briar Cliff. I wanted to start dating him because I went through a tough time and he was one of the only people who stood by my side. We'd been friends for a while, then best friends, and then we just decided to take it further!

Last summer he went home (to England) for 81 days. We had only dated for a few months before he left, so we knew it would be tough (especially with the 6 hour time change), but even after he left we found ways to make it work - we messaged and Skyped when we could. We wanted to stay together because we knew the distance was temporary and even through the distance, we made each other so happy whenever we finally got the chance to talk.

The most challenging part was not being able to communicate as much as we did when we were here. He doesn't have a phone, so we were only able to communicate through Facebook whenever he was home. Mix that with a 6 hour time change and the chances to talk are few and far between... It was easy at first because we were so happy together that we thought we could tackle anything. However, toward the middle it got really difficult because we had gone days without talking, and he still had another 40 days until he got back - that was the worst part. But then as the days got closer to him coming back, it got easier because we had something to look forward to!

The most rewarding part was at the airport when he came back. I immediately started crying when I saw him because I was so happy to see him! We could finally be together and it was the best feeling in the world and it made it all worth it.

Our situation is a little different with him being an international student - we're together all school year and then he goes home for summer (sometimes the entire summer and sometimes for only 2 weeks, like this year). Hopefully after graduation he can stay in the states until we decide to get married!

So far it has worked out for us! The biggest thing that we've realized is that we have a huge amount of trust for each other and we know that no matter what happens, we're still here for each other at the end of the day.

Natasha

My first long distance relationship lasted on and off for about 4 years. Altogether, I think we had officially been together about 2 and a half years, but we were involved with each other for that long of a time. We met online on a site that both of us regulared, and he eventually asked me if we could date. I lived in Colorado and he lived in Wisconsin, but we could see that it was inevitable that we'd eventually meet. Neither of us were very physical people, so we weren't very bothered by the distance. We kept breaking up and getting back together throughout our time because of various reasons. The most difficult part was after we met. After breaking that barrier, I started pushing him for more in our relationship. But he felt the opposite and didn't want a future together. [He] didn't tell me about this until later after we had met. This hurt me a lot until I found comfort in other people who supported me in my college.

The most rewarding part I'd say is probably the fact that it's all about this person that you just talk to about anything. They're there for you whenever you need to talk to someone and you're never afraid of your relationship being based off of the physical part, because you don't even have that. It becomes more difficult after you've seen them, though. I honestly thought that after we met, things were going to be a lot easier and that we could meet more often, and eventually after college move in together and see where we went from there. It made me realize that you can't put so much of your heart into someone for the spot that they fill rather than the person that they are. If you're not treated the way that you should be treated by them, you shouldn't rely on a future event to change their ways or change their minds about what they want out of you. It also taught me that if you have an issue with something, you should say something about it and talk it over with the person you have an issue with rather than being pissed about it and hoping that they figure it out.

My second long distance relationship happened shortly after that one. It lasted for about a year. We had met in high school and were best friends onto the time in college. Eventually he asked me out because he admitted to having feelings for me. I'd always had a huge crush on him all throughout high school, so I was beyond alright with that. We had so much chemistry with each other it was insane. We both wanted the same thing in our future, we both had the same interests, and we were so comfortable with each other and so close, because we were friends for so long that it was really easy to see us continuing on together.

Since he lived back in Colorado, going back to school in Iowa was pretty difficult. On top of that, it was spring season for me, so I basically flew home for at least a short time every month because I didn't have volleyball holding me down. Also, my parents were extremely supporting and helped pay for the tickets to go back home. It made it a lot easier than my previous LDR and it made us really grow as a couple. The most difficult part happened after summer break. I couldn't come home every month because I had volleyball that I had to commit to. Leaving was extremely difficult because we became even closer during the summer.

At the end of the summer, he moved out from his parent's house and into an apartment with a whole bunch of guys with the same interests. I wasn't too concerned about that. I was just concerned about how much I would miss him. The day after I arrived back in college, there was a party at his apartment. Among the partygoers was a friend of mine named Daniel who I'd known for 12 years. Apparently some time in the night, he left the party and they found him the next morning in his car in front of their apartment dead. He had shot himself. Having known Daniel for so long, it was very difficult for me, but I couldn't even come home for the funeral because I was not allowed to leave my summer training. It was very difficult for my boyfriend because he was the one who found Daniel and he was good friends with him more recently.

He internalized the incident and closed himself up, so he wouldn't talk to me that much. I kept reaching out to him because I needed support and I wanted to give him support, but he refused to let me. They were evicted from the apartment because a firearm was unloaded in the parking lot. He started couch surfing and refusing to go back to his house or to my house, even when I offered him to stay there. He eventually moved into another apartment but fell behind in payments. I gave him a loan of money because I didn't want him to go couch surfing again. He eventually started becoming very suicidal and I was frantic to get back home and be there to support him. (There was also a possibility that he had been cheating on me for a long time now.) But the only time I could give to him was about a few hours during Thanksgiving break.

During winter break, I was planning on talking to him personally and trying to work out what was going on between us. This eventually just fell into a breakup. I was going to contact him again when I returned home for the summer because he was still my friend and I still wanted to support him. He was still going through some legal things but he wasn't suicidal anymore. He was also starting to have seizures out of nowhere. The day after I arrived home for summer break, he had a seizure while getting out of the shower and slipped, hit his head, and ending up dying from it. I think that his funeral and all the memories of the 6 years in which we were friends and/or dating have been the most difficult things I've ever had to deal with.

I'd have to say that the most rewarding part was how much chemistry we had together. We could talk like friends or just sit and watch a movie together or enjoy each other's company. Not to mention how much he changed me, how much stronger I got, how much more independent and hopeful I was. Everything he was and everything we were when things were good have been my motivation, and that's something that will never die.

I feel like I've learned so much from this that it would take forever for me to explain it all. I feel like I will never stop learning from this experience. I learn every day how much he still means to me, even after everything that happened. I still learn how sacred life is and how you should never give yourself room for regret. I learn that if you need to say something to someone, you should say it, because maybe tomorrow you won't get that chance. I've learned to be thankful for everything that happens and everything I have because every day that I live was just one more day than he got.

Now my latest one is more recent. We've almost been dating half a year now. I met Dewayne the first day of orientation at college. We've been extremely close friends since then and started dating after my previous boyfriend and I broke up. After we broke up, Dewayne asked me out. When school got out, we drove back to Colorado together and he stayed with me for a week before he went back to Maryland.

We miss each other a lot, but we both know very well that our relationship is least of all physical and most of all support, intellect, and overall being there for each other. So honestly, it's probably the easiest LDR I've had, because we are very tight, but we also have more to us than being together. Plus I'm going over to Maryland for a week this summer so it's not going to be that long before I see him again.

The most rewarding part would be the amount of support we both get and how much we can lean on each other when we need to. Because we've been best friends for a while and we are used to hearing from each other every day, it never really feels like we're alone. We always have each other's backs, and that's really the best part. Sometimes the break away from each other is a good thing because it gives me a chance to get in touch with my grief on my own, but also gives us a reason to be thankful for the situation we're in and for each other.

It's hard to say what exactly I've learned other than that I don't always have to rely on myself to hold myself together. I can always find strength from others. Since my ex's death, I've been evaluating who I am and trying to become more of who I want to be rather than who I am but have grown too hard-shelled and cautious to allow myself to be that way. So while I undergo some changes, it's good to have someone who knows me well enough to support me in these changes while also ensuring that I don't change myself too much. It's like having a crutch to help me test out how a broken ankle is healing. A lot is learned from him and us in this situation.

Amanda

We've been together for 2 and a half years, but long distance for about a year. We met at an FFA conference through mutual friends. We started dating in high school, but we didn’t go to the same school. We were about 40 minutes away from each other, so I wouldn’t really consider that long distance. I go to college in Ames now and live here in the summer too, and he goes to college in Mason City and works in his hometown.

I would say the most difficult part was going from seeing each other multiple times a week to seeing each other a lot less often. And the little things - I suck at directions so he always drove, when my vehicle needed fixed or oil changed he did it, and just having someone to hang out with anytime I’m bored. I’ve definitely had to become more independent now.

I really hated long distance at first, and it still isn’t ideal, but I’ve found new opportunities and friends in college that I wouldn’t have found if I stayed home.I have two more years of undergrad and then I plan to go to vet school, so it’ll be a while before I’m back home (if I move home). He wants to join his family’s farm, so he can’t very easily work where I live either. This hasn’t been a huge issue so far, but if we stay together and are ready to take things further, I can see it getting challenging.

Even though it’s difficult to be apart, we both make a pretty good effort to come visit. Luckily we’re only about 2 and a half hours away, so weekends are usually possible. He lives close to where my parents live, so I can see us ending up in the same place eventually.

Reilly

11 months In high school we had a class together, he asked me on a date as a joke thinking I would say no, but was totally shocked when I said yes, so he tried really hard throughout the relationship. I stayed because he tried so hard all the time o figured it wouldn't matter. He went to college 2 hours away Getting time to talk to each other was hard with separate schedules, no it didn't get easier We would send each other surprise letters every once in a while and just hearing from him was amazing He and I didn't work out because it was a lot of extra stress on both of us. I know it hard to be in a long distance relationship just because of the stress, so I hope to never be in the situation again, but if I am, I'll try to deal with it when I get there.

Derek

We were together 2 and a half years. Our hometowns were an hour and a half a part. Our colleges were 4 hours a part. We met at a three day religious retreat called TEC (very similar to a Briar Cliff Antioch retreat). We were in the same small group. We just started texting after and built up a friendship. She actually was the one to start "flirting" and show a significant amount of attention to me. I'd never had that before. I wasn't sure where this friendship would go from there. We were able to meet up in person and I kinda just took a shot in the dark and asked her out and she said yes. I wanted to stay with her because we had so many shared interests and characteristics.

The most challenging part was finding time to see each other in person. In high school it wasn't too bad. In college it became much harder to do so. Especially since we got so involved with college activities and clubs and whatnot. For me, the most challenging was trusting that each of us wouldn't do anything to compromise our relationship. Trust is a big concern and important for me for a relationship.

The most rewarding parts were those times when we did see each other on weekends or holidays or birthdays. Just spending time and being together. We hoped that if we stayed together long enough, we would be brought closer together. How college graduation would hopefully bring us together. Of course, we had "what if" talks about marriage and how that would bring us together.

After a while, we broke up. Even though it didn't work out, a positive realization was that long distance relationships are not impossible. They can be done. Many couples do it. Communicating with texting, calling, or Skyping can help. The time you spend apart from the person makes the feeling of love stronger and more rewarding when you see them the next time in person.

Malyssa

Me and Henry have been together for ten years but friends for 20! I met him through mutual friends. We were very close for many years and we ended up falling in love with each other. I stayed with him because I knew he was worth waiting for and he'd be back with me in the end of it. [The] most challenging part was trying to deal with a long distance relationship when I have a mental disease. It became more difficult as time went on. The most rewarding part was him coming home and becoming my husband. Now we are happily married and he's an amazing husband and now father!

Sabrina

We have been together for 5 years We knew each other through a mutual friend but actually started hanging out because one of my friends was talking to one of his friends. When we began dating, we lived about 10 miles apart and went to separate schools. But we began an actual long-distance relationship when we went to college. (I moved to Des Moines and he moved to Sheldon)

The most difficult part was the change and learning to trust my boyfriend all over again. I also hated that even though I had a boyfriend, I had to find a date for school functions. My boyfriend worked on the weekends, so he couldn't come visit me. I had to visit him. As time went on, it go easier. We found a way to make it work and discovered what we needed to do to be happy in a relationship. Distance puts a whole new perspective on trust.

The most rewarding part was actually getting to see my boyfriend. We would actually plan dates and things to do when we saw each other. It always gave me something to look forward to. Also, we hardly argued because we were just so happy to be reunited.

My boyfriend and I are both graduated from college. His job requires him to be constantly traveling. We both want to live in the Algona area (where we are from) so I'm living there, but he isn't right now. Eventually, he will get a different job that doesn't require him to travel, but he is completing an apprenticeship right now. So when he finishes that in a couple years, we finally won't be long-distance.

We are still happily together, but I have learned a lot. Trust in God, trust your significant other, and trust your gut. Even if they aren't there physically, they are only a phone call away. I learned how to be independent while still knowing I have someone in my corner who loves me and cares for me. Reuniting even just for a date night can turn around your entire week.

Emily

[We were] on-and-off for two years. I saw one of my friends retweet her stuff. And it was this perfect sarcastic, ironic, dry humor that I love. So I followed her on twitter. Two months later she said she was going on a road trip halfway across the country. I could text her if I wanted to. I did. She sent me a picture of the Arches in Utah and another one of a kid on a leash in a movie rental store in Oregon. Awesome. Someone I’d never actually met in person could make me laugh harder than anyone else I’d been hanging around at the time.

There was always something to look forward to, and it was always worth it. Literally like having a two-person birthday party every other weekend for kids who were genuinely excited that this other person actually existed on this earth at the exact same time. It was always a long-distance relationship.

[The most challenging part was] having to settle for phone calls when the big things were happening—good or bad. Her parents were getting divorced, and I was finally getting on the dean’s list. You want the person you love to be there, and you wanna be there for them too. And you just can’t do that with the distance most of the time.

It became easier as a result of growing accustomed to distance and silence. Eventually we just stopped bringing up certain things because we didn’t like making each other feel helpless. Because we did both just want to help.

It was a really good love. She taught me how to be patient. And how crucial it is to communicate about everything. And when we actually got to see each other, it was this really cherished thing because we knew it usually wouldn’t last longer than 48 hours. One of us would be gone by the next morning.

We’d planned on living together in whatever city I decided to go to grad school. We talked about what we’d plant in the backyard garden and where indoor succulents could go.

I’ve learned that you never get the same love twice, which is both incredibly saddening and entirely hopeful. Sometimes things are meant to happen but not meant to be. Any good relationship is dynamic and will require you to grow, individually and cohesively. Having someone who believes in you enables you to do anything. But most importantly, having someone love you teaches you that you are lovable, worthy of another person’s affection. And that’ll make you love everyone around you better than you had before, because it releases this immense kindness and intelligence that even you didn’t know you had. Love is this best thing we do.