1. You don’t really understand what all snow is.

Yeah, you know that it’s frozen precipitation and that it has to be below freezing for snow to even happen, but people from the north just know more about it. Your relationship with snow is equivalent to your relationship with that cousin who lives on the other side of the country who you have always heard stories about but never met. Then you do meet him, and it’s kind of awkward cause you really have nothing to talk about.

2. You don’t know how to properly dress for the snow.

Yeah I’ll just put on a jacket, a pair of gloves, some long pants, maybe a hat… How cold can it really be? The penguins don’t wear anything and they’re in snow all the time! Well guess what, you’re not a penguin, but you’re just about as smart as one if you go out there with only one layer on. When it’s snowing and you want to go outside, you need to be like an onion. You need to have layers. Layers on layers on layers on layers.

3.You fail to remember that snow is frozen water.

You’ve put on your three shirts, two pairs of pants, twelve hats, seven jackets, a pair of boots, and three pairs of gloves, and you’ve finally made your way outside. In the first five minutes you’ve already built your sorry excuse for a snowman and thrown the grass filled snowballs you’ve made when you realize that you’re all wet? How can this be? You don’t remember doing anything with water. But you did just get a few of your seven jackets out of the drier so maybe they didn’t dry all the way. Hmmm...

4. You don’t know how to properly play in the snow.

You try to build a snowman, the same way they do it in cartoons, but you fail. You try to have a snowball fight, but that doesn’t really work either. You try to go sledding, but you keep going the wrong way or getting stuck. What’s the deal? Does the snow just not like you or something? Then, after about half an hour of embarrassing yourself in front of your neighborhood, either your neighbor or one of your parents who grew up up north comes outside and shows you how to properly handle the snow.

5. You don’t understand how there are different types of snow.

This same neighbor or parent starts instructing you on the various forms of snow: snowball snow, snowman snow, sledding snow, etc. But isn’t it all just snow, right? Why does snowman snow differ from snowball snow? Why can’t all the snow just be the same, it’s all just snow isn’t it?! Why do we have to label it as this and that, can’t it just be snow?!

6. You spend hours looking for yellow snow.

We get it, we know what it is. But down here, yellow snow is comedic gold (literally). When you find it, it’s one of the best parts of your day. You laugh and laugh over this discoloration.

7. You can’t stay inside.

Just because it snowed this year doesn’t mean it will snow next year, or the next year, or for the next 10 years! So you better spend every moment that you can in the snow. This could be a once in a lifetime opportunity, and you cannot pass this up.

8. When you do go inside, you don’t know what to do with all your stuff.

You haven’t worn this many layers since the last time it snowed, five years ago. The second you get inside you start shedding layers and by the time you get to your bathroom to take a hot shower you still have about two more layers to go. When you get done, you see that your house has been invaded by ravenous, rarely used, wet winter coats who have confiscated every chair and inch of floor space available.

9. You relax.

Due to the two inches of snow that have fallen, you know that your entire state will be shut down for the next week, so you can totally avoid all responsibilities for the next three to four days. You curl up with your special pajamas, you make some hot chocolate, you watch a great movie, and you enjoy the rest of your evening.

10. You do not dare to drive.

If you get caught driving in the snow then you are done for. Might as well pull your car off to the side of the road and turn it on and off once every hour to conserve your gas and keep the inside of your car heated for as long as possible. We all know that we can’t drive when it’s snowing, it’s against our southern human nature. So stay home, and enjoy this time with your family and friends.