Weird families. We all know one, maybe we're a part of one, or maybe we just want our family to be weirder. Whatever the case may be, with Thanksgiving coming along, you have probably began preparing yourself to be around your family for longer than the average time period. Will your divorced grandparents get into a fight this year? While your aunt try and convert you again? The possibilities are endless. This year, while you sit around the table with your abnormal family, see if you can spot some of these common conversations.
1. Some argument about politics
A guaranteed topic of conversation, especially during this time of year. Even normal families disagree on politics. The difference is whether they blatantly call out others on their political beliefs, initiating a yelling match that can only be ended by the most neutral family member willing to compromise in order to keep grandma from having a heart attack.
2. Different guesses as to what an ex-wife/husband that no one likes is up to
Oh yeah... I wonder how she's doing? Most likely this will occur as people go around the table giving different opinions as to what this person may be doing with their life now that they're not involved with the family. Maybe they've moved to a different continent? Maybe they've re-married? Maybe they've become a stripper? You never know!
3. Comments about the vegan food
There's always a vegan/vegetarian/pescatarian/ovotarian/fruitarian in weird families. And they're gonna need something that's not turkey (or carbs, or sweet cranberries). I bet if you listen closely, you'll hear your carnivore grandfather criticizing the Tofu-Turkey thats taking up valuable room in the oven.
4. Very in depth stories about pets
Yeah, you all know who I'm referring to. There's always that one family member who's pets are their children, and be prepared to be shown multiple pictures of the "babies." Guaranteed that later on at the dinner table you'll be listening to a "that time when" story about how a dog almost burped to death.
5. A prayer that get's interrupted multiple times
Let's face it, a Thanksgiving prayer at your table probably doesn't follow the standards of the Pope. Whether that rebellious atheist child in your family interrupts with some comment about whether God even exists, or you have multiple religions that require different godly representation, it's gonna take a while for this to be over.
6. Yelling
That is all.
7. Someone being reprimanded for doing something stupid
Where exactly is your uncle? Oh, he's trying to shoot fireworks of the roof. And your cousin? Probably holding the ladder. Be on the lookout for any signs of shenanigans, whether it's done by some young children in your family or the adults who just think they're children. And get ready, because a reprimanding is a foot.
8. A spiritual awakening story
I'd be surprised is spirituality didn't come up at my dinner table. These stories can come in the form of a dream your half sister had that includes loads of omens we should all be looking out for, or maybe your mom expressing her new found interest in a new religion. Possibly, this will cause an argument where yet again the atheist child gets involved. But it's all friendly!
9. An attempt at going around the table where each person say's something they're thankful for
Notice how I said an attempt. I don't think my family has ever successfully gone around the table before some kind of new conversation arises. How can anyone be quiet for that long? Impossible. After the second person goes you'll probably start noticing other conversations begin.
10. Exactly where Christmas is being held this year
Yeah, no plans have probably been made yet. Either that, or not all the family members are pleased so it's still up for debate. Get ready for an impromptu 12 hour drive the day before Christmas so that grandma can be around her family!
