December 26 - January 2. That’s this year’s Christmas vacation week. It’s a time during the winter where everyone from the city comes up in their black suburbans, or white Land/Range Rovers decked out with ski racks on the top and f*ck everything up.
Nestled in one of the valleys of the White Mountains is Lincoln, New Hampshire, which no one really knows where it is until you say something like, “it’s where Loon Mountain is” or “we have the pretty ice castles!”
*Cue collective: “Oh yeah! I’ve been there!”*
Unfortunately, among every other vehicle, person in longline or worker at the store are the unforgotten heroes who make it possible for the vacationers to live as entitled as they believe they are. I asked a few of the locals what they thought about vacation week, and here are some highlights:
1. No one understands the concept of the center turning lane.
The center turning lane is to help continue the flow of traffic. Here's a quick lesson on how to use one: “To turn left from the street, signal and drive completely inside the turn lane. Don't stop halfway into the lane with the back of your vehicle blocking traffic.”
2. The moment when you pass the black SUV going 90 mph on I-93 during a blizzard.
And 10 minutes later, their car is off in the ditch with their emergencies on. Repeat after me, "All wheel drive and snow tires does not mean we are safe from the snow."
3. Traffic.
What should take five minutes to get to is suddenly a 20-minute crawl up the main strip.
4. Condo/house renters.
Who only come and use their places two times a year, but swear up and down they know this place better than you do.
5. Shopping at Price Chopper.
Because while you know where everything is located, everyone else doesn't. So they park their carts in the middle of the aisle, bump into you, argue at the register, and blare at you on their way out.
6. When they figure out Pollard, Connector, Wayside and behind Price Chopper to the light...
They've advanced...
7. Everyone seems to have the same sense of entitlement.
Especially when the wait time at the restaurant is 45 minutes to an hour and they deserve to be sat before the people waiting longer than them.
8. Exit 32 stickers on out-of-state cars with plates reading "SkiLoon" and "NHLuver."
*Gathers with all locals* Stop. Don't talk to me. Loser, lame ass, wannabe.
9. Rural New Hampshire burdens.
Like, yeah you have to go 30 minutes north and south for a Wal-Mart. We don't have a Costco or Sam's club here, and no designer stores for you.
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