1. If you step on a person’s foot they open their mouths, just like trash cans.

I would recommend not doing this one often, however.

2. When people say they forgot something, it is usually because they remembered something.

Of course, it's not what they are trying to remember, but still.

3. A broken clock is right twice a day, but a clock fixed incorrectly will always be wrong.

Either way, you're still probably late. You should get that clock fixed.

4. The brain named itself.

And then every other body part. Conceited, much?

5. “Jail” and “Prison” are synonyms, but “Jailer” and “Prisoner” are antonyms.

Neither of them sound like a lot of fun, honestly.

6. Heat, Pressure, and Time. The three things that make a diamond are also the three things that make a waffle.

One of these is definitely more tasty.

7. If you wear a shirt inside-out, the whole universe is technically wearing the shirt except you.

But how long will it take for one of your friends to point it out?

8. Every decision you have ever made in your life, has lead to you reading this sentence.

And this one. And this one. And so on.

9. Spacesuits are literally made to protect astronauts from nothing.

Nothing but death.

10. Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.

And your tongue finds them all super tasty.